BodySense Blog

How Exercise Eases Anxiety

Studies show that exercise can help manage anxiety. Learn about the best choices to reduce your stress levels.

Anxiety can be overwhelming and cause many physical and emotional side effects. When you can't stop worrying, you can't sleep and you may even feel sick to your stomach. While an anxiety disorder should be monitored and treated by a qualified professional, exercise can be part of an effective treatment plan to help manage your anxiety symptoms.

Exercise and Anxiety: What the Research Says
"Exercise won't cure anxiety or depression, but the physical and psychological benefits can improve the symptoms,” explains Sally R. Connolly, LCSW, a therapist at the Couples Clinic of Louisville in Kentucky. "Research shows that at least 30 minutes of exercise three to five days a week can significantly make a difference.” Some studies have suggested that regular exercise can help alleviate anxiety as much as medications, and the anxiety-relieving effects of exercise may last longer than those of drugs.

Exercise and Anxiety: Who Benefits
While everyone can reap psychological benefits from exercise, research suggests that people who may see the biggest improvements in anxiety symptoms are those who:

• Exercise consistently for at least several weeks
• Are not already physically active
• Have severe anxiety
• Do aerobic exercise, such as jogging, swimming, or dancing

Exercise has also been shown to be effective in managing symptoms of depression, which frequently affects people with anxiety disorders.

Exercise and Anxiety: How Exercise Helps
"Anxiety is usually linked to an increased heart rate," notes Connolly. "Exercise can be very helpful with calming people's heart rate."

During exercise, your heart rate shoots up, but over time, as your fitness level improves, your heart begins to work more efficiently. As a result, your resting heart rate between exercise sessions eventually becomes slower. Improved heart and lung function due to regular aerobic activity are often associated with a greater sense of overall well-being, which can help offset feelings of anxiety.

Even short bursts of exercise — just 10 to 15 minutes at a time — can improve your fitness and your mood. Connolly recommends that her patients get a total of 30 minutes of exercise a day, which can be broken into 10-minute blocks if necessary, between six and seven days a week.

Exercise can even help prevent anxiety disorders from beginning in the first place. One study showed that regular exercisers were at a 25 percent reduced risk of depression and anxiety disorders over a five-year period. Not surprisingly, exercise has also been found to improve mental clarity and concentration, both of which may be negatively affected by anxiety. Chemicals released in the brain during exercise may help improve the ability to focus and deal with stressful situations, thereby lessening the risk of anxiety and depression.

Exercise and Anxiety: Anti-Anxiety Workouts
Any exercise can help diminish anxiety, but Connolly says aerobic exercise that really gets your heart rate up will be the most beneficial. Some good aerobic exercises that can help manage anxiety are:

• Swimming
• Biking
• Running
• Brisk walking
• Tennis
• Dancing

"Dancing is a great exercise, and it has a lot of other side benefits. And it's great when you dance with other people," notes Connolly, since socializing can also boost your mood.

Though not aerobic, yoga can help offset anxiety symptoms. Yoga combines physical movement with meditation and deep breathing to help calm the mind and alleviate worry.

While weight training and other strengthening exercises are important for your overall health, they don’t seem to offer as much anxiety relief as activities that get your heart rate going.

We all know that exercise is good for the body, and now research shows that it's also good for the mind. In addition to managing your anxiety with a doctor's help, exercise is a powerful tool you can use to enhance your physical and mental health.

By Diana Rodriguez

Medically reviewed by Niya Jones, MD, MPH

Everyday Health - Emotional Health

Echoes of Happiness

Belly Laughs

As children, we laugh hundreds of times each day, delighted by the newness of living. When we reach adulthood, however, we tend to not allow ourselves to let go in a good belly laugh. Inviting laughter back into our lives is simply a matter of making the conscious decision to laugh. Though most of us are incited to laugh only when exposed to humor or the unexpected, each of us is capable of laughing at will. A laugh that comes from the belly carries with it the same positive effects whether prompted by a funny joke or consciously willed into existence. When our laughter comes from the core of our being, it permeates every cell in our physical selves, beginning in the center and radiating outward, until we are not merely belly laughing but rather body laughing.

Laughter has been a part of the human mode of expression since before evolution granted us the art of speech. Through it, we connected with allies while demonstrating our connection with people we didn’t know. In the present, laughter allows us to enjoy positive shared experiences with strangers and loved ones alike. Yet solitary laughter carries with it its own slew of benefits. An energetic and enthusiastic bout of whole-body laughter exercises the muscles, the lungs, and the mind in equal measure, leaving us feeling relaxed and content. When we laugh heartily at life’s ridiculousness instead of responding irritably, our focus shifts. Anger, stress, guilt, and sadness no longer wield any influence over us, and we are empowered to make light of what we originally feared. Laughter also opens our hearts, letting love and light in, changing our perspective, and enabling us to fix our attention on what is positive in our lives.

It is easy to laugh when we feel good, but it is when the world appears dim that we most need laughter in our lives. Our laughter then resonates through our hearts, filling the empty spaces with pure, unadulterated joy. We regain our footing in the moment and remember that no sorrow is powerful enough to rob us of our inborn happiness. When we understand that uninhibited laughter is the food of the soul, nourishing us from within, we know instinctively that life is worthwhile.

DailyOM

The Heart of Unknowing

Who Am I?

At some point in our lives, or perhaps at many points in our lives, we ask the question, "Who am I?" At times like these, we are looking beyond the obvious, beyond our names and the names of the cities and states we came from, into the layers beneath our surface identities. We may feel the need for a deeper sense of purpose in our lives, or we may be ready to accommodate a more complex understanding of the situation in which we find ourselves. Whatever the case, the question of who we are is a seed that can bear much fruit.

It can send us on an exploration of our ancestry, or the past lives of our soul. It can call us to take up journaling in order to discover that voice deep within us that seems to know the answers to a multitude of questions. It can draw our attention so deeply inward that we find the spark of spirit that connects us to every living thing in the universe. One Hindu tradition counsels its practitioners to ask the question over and over, using it as a mantra to lead them inevitably into the heart of the divine.

While there are people who seem to come into the world knowing who they are and why they are here, for the most part the human journey appears to be very much about asking this question and allowing its answers to guide us on our paths. So when we find ourselves in the heart of unknowing, we can have faith that we are in a very human place, as well as a very divine one. "Who am I?" is a timeless mantra, a Zen koan ultimately designed to lead us home, into the part of our minds that finally lets go of questions and answers and finds instead the ability to simply be.

DailyOM

Good Fats, Bad Fats

One type of fat protects your heart, the other puts you at risk for cardiovascular disease. It's wise to know the difference.

The body needs certain healthy fats to construct cell membranes, insulate nerves, and ensure that many vitamins, like D and K, work like they’re supposed to.

But not all fats are good for you; some, in the wrong amounts, can seriously damage your health.

Types of Healthy Fats

Dietary fats fall into three categories:

• Saturated fats. Animals are the primary source of saturated fats, with high levels found in beef and full-fat dairy products and medium levels in poultry and eggs. Some vegetable oils, such as palm oil, also contain a lot of saturated fat.

  Saturated fats are necessary for the body — but in small amounts. Less than 10 percent of your daily calories should come from saturated fats, preferably from lean poultry and low-fat or fat-free dairy products. For people who consume 2,000 calories per day, only 20 grams at most should come from saturated fat.

• Unsaturated fats. These good fats are what you should eat the most of as part of a heart-healthy diet. There are two types of unsaturated fats: monounsaturated and polyunsaturated. Pecans, hazelnuts, almonds, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, olive oil, peanut oil, and canola oil have high concentrations of monounsaturated fats. Fish, flax seeds, flaxseed oils, corn oil, soybean oil, and sunflower oil contain polyunsaturated fats.

• Omega-3 fatty acids — found in some types of fish like salmon and herring, and in plant products, such as soybean oil, canola oil, walnuts, and flaxseed — are a type of polyunsaturated fat that are thought to be particularly good for the heart.

• Trans fats. These are the fats you may want most but shouldn’t have. Most unsaturated fats are liquid at room temperature. To make them solid, food manufacturers add extra hydrogen, making it a “hydrogenated,” or trans, fat. The highest levels of trans fats are found in baked goods, animal products, and margarine.

Effects of Non-Healthy Fats

Eating a meal high in saturated fats — lots of steak, with potato salad loaded with eggs and mayo — creates the following reaction in the body:

• Triglyceride (made from excess calories and stored in fat cells) levels go up. High triglyceride levels increase the risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, and heart problems. [8,9]
• Blood vessels narrow.
• Blood pressure goes up.
• LDL levels increase.

And even though trans fats come from vegetable sources, they can cause more heart problems than saturated and unsaturated fats. For this reason many food manufacturing companies and restaurants are no longer using trans fats, and most food labels state their trans fat content.

Good Effects of Fats

Replacing some saturated fat from animal sources with healthy fat from plant sources can reduce LDL and triglyceride levels and your risk of cardiovascular disease.

A recent study found that replacing harmful carbohydrates — found in processed foods like white rice, white bread, and so on — with foods such as nuts and fatty fish, decreases LDL (“bad cholesterol”) levels and increases those of HDL (“good cholesterol”). The researchers also found that eating foods rich in good fat:

• Lowered blood pressure
• Reduced heart risks
• Improved lipid levels

If you’re smart, you’ll opt for unsaturated fats every time.

A Word About Fish

Fish is a heart-healthy source of dietary protein that is low in saturated fat and high in omega-3 fatty acids. It is especially important that postmenopausal women and middle-aged and older men eat the recommended amounts of fish and shellfish (up to 12 ounces per week) to reduce cardiovascular disease risks, according to the American Heart Association (AHA). The AHA cautions that some fish types may be high in environmental pollutants such as mercury and therefore recommends that children and pregnant women avoid fish types that are thought to have the highest mercury levels (for example, king makerel, swordfish, shark, tilefish). The AHA also recommends varying the kinds of fish you eat to minimize effects of these environmental contaminants.

The bottom line is that you need healthy fat in your diet, in limited amounts. And it does matter what kind of fat you eat. For cardiovascular health, limit your intake of saturated fat, avoid trans fat, and make sure most of the fat you eat is good fat from fish, nuts, and healthy oils.

By Eleanor Roberts, PhD

Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH

Everyday Health - Women's Health

Enjoying a Snail's Pace

Doing Things Slowly

Life can often feel like it’s zipping by in fast forward. We feel obliged to accelerate our own speed along with it, until our productivity turns into frenzied accomplishment. We find ourselves cramming as much activity as possible into the shortest periods of time. We disregard our natural rhythms because it seems we have to just to keep up. In truth, rushing never gets you anywhere but on to the next activity or goal.

Slowing down allows you to not only savor your experiences, but also it allows you to fully focus your attention and energy on the task at hand. Moving at a slower place lets you get things done more efficiently, while rushing diminishes the quality of your work and your relationships. Slowing down also lets you be more mindful, deliberate, and fully present. When we slow down, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to reacquaint ourselves to our natural rhythms. We let go of the “fast forward” stress, and allow our bodies to remain centered and grounded. Slowing down is inherent to fully savoring anything in life. Rushing to take a bath can feel like an uncomfortable dunk in hot water, while taking a slow hot bath can be luxuriant and relaxing. A student cramming for a test will often feel tired and unsure, whereas someone who really absorbs the information will be more confident and relaxed. Cooking, eating, reading, and writing can become pleasurable when done slowly. ! Slowing down lets you become more absorbed in whatever it is you are doing. The food you eat tastes better, and the stories you read become more alive.

Slowing down allows you to disconnect from the frenzied pace buzzing around you so you can begin moving at your own pace. The moments we choose to live in fast forward motion then become a conscious choice rather than an involuntary action. Learning to slow down in our fast-moving world can take practice, but if you slow down long enough to try it, you may surprise yourself with how natural and organic living at this pace can be.

DailyOM

Dealing With the Loss of Your Pet

The death of a companion animal can be as devastating as the loss of a human friend or family member – and the grieving process is very similar.

The first thing to remember when you lose a pet is that there is no "right" or "wrong" reaction you can have to such a profound loss in your life.

You might feel full of rage or completely numb with shock or simply feel the need to cry and/or talk. All of these are completely normal reactions.

Dr. Susan Cohen, the director of counseling at the Animal Medical Center of New York, provides reassurance and advice for those struggling with pet loss.

Cohen remembers her own terrible grief as a child when she lost her longtime cat, Becky, after 14 years of companionship.

"When my parents told me after one of my (choir) performances, I used every ounce of control I had to keep from just losing it. I hid behind the choir robes in the back of the bus and cried to myself," recalls Cohen.

The most important thing to do if you're experiencing pet loss, according to Cohen, is to find a place to let your feelings out and be heard.

"When I got back to school, I told my best friend as I was sitting in his car. I sobbed for 2 hours straight — big gasping sobs, accompanied by the story of her life, the shock of this first big life loss, and apologies for being unable to stop. He didn't know what to say, but he listened," Cohen said.

Helping Others Grieve

As a lifelong animal lover, Cohen noticed her terrible sadness after the loss of every pet she ever owned as she went on to pursue a career in counseling. Surely, she thought, other people must be having the same experience.

"With pets, remorse can sneak up on you. I remember thinking that since so many veterinarians didn't have the time or training to deal with grief, wouldn't it be great if there was a social worker in this area?"

Cohen went on to become a pioneer in the field of grief therapy for pet owners. Today, from arranging pet loss support groups to private counseling at the prestigious Animal Medical Center of New York, Cohen creates resources and emotional support that can help heal the very real grief and sense of isolation pet owners feel when they lose a pet.

Different Ways of Grieving

According to Cohen, often family members and friends are on different timelines in the process of grieving for your pet. So, they might criticize you for the level of grief or guilt you are experiencing, which can lead to even more painful feelings of alienation. By attending a pet loss support group or seeking professional counseling, you can voice the normal range of your feelings to those who are neutral. In support groups, you might even feel relieved to meet people experiencing similar feelings, such as guilt or depression. Most importantly, all of these proactive measures will help you move through the natural grieving process involved in losing a beloved pet in your own way.

Stages of Grief

Some things you might experience during the loss of a pet:

• Shock: If you feel like you are simply going through the motions, you're not alone. Most people go in and out of shock after the death of a loved one.
• Anger: Don't be surprised if you find yourself cursing your veterinarian under your breath. When you lose a pet, it's natural to feel the need to blame someone, maybe even ourselves as a means of gaining control over unalterable events. However, if you are still feeling rage after six months, you should seek professional counseling.
• Bargaining and denial: One immediate response to the shock of loss is to create a protective fantasy that our pet is still alive or seek to bargain with God. If this stage isn't too prolonged, it's normal. If it goes on too long, it's time to seek professional help.
• Guilt: Do you suffer from the sinking feeling that you could have done something to save your pet? Looking directly at the facts, or even x-rays or vet reports, can be a healthy reminder that you did the best you could.
• Depression: Be gentle with yourself and the real loss you are experiencing. Feeling listless or breaking into tears is a completely normal response. If you are feeling suicidal, seek professional help.
• Acceptance: Some people don't like the passive tone of the word, but this doesn't mean that what's happened is "OK'' with you. It means that you've come to a place where you can accept that your life is permanently different.

Everyday Health - Healthy Aging

Growing Day by Day

Becoming a Better Person

At some point in our lives, many of us find ourselves overcome with the desire to become better people. While we are all uniquely capable of navigating this world, we may nonetheless feel driven to grow, expand, and change. This innate need for personal expansion can lead us down many paths as we develop within the context of our individual lives. Yet the initial steps that can put us on the road to evolution are not always clear. We understand that we want to be better but have no clear definition of “better.” To ease this often frustrating uncertainty, we can take small steps, keeping our own concept of growth in mind rather than allowing others to direct the course of our journey. And we should accept that change won’t happen overnight—we may not recognize the transformations taking place within us at first.

Becoming a better person in your own eyes is a whole-life project, and thus you should focus your step-by-step efforts on multiple areas of your existence. Since you likely know innately which qualities you consider good, growing as an individual is simply a matter of making an effort to do good whenever possible. Respect should be a key element of your efforts. When you acknowledge that all people are deserving of compassion, consideration, and dignity, you are naturally more apt to treat them in the manner you yourself wish to be treated. You will intuitively become a more active listener, universally helpful, and truthful. Going the extra mile in all you do can also facilitate evolution. Approaching your everyday duties with an upbeat attitude and positive expectations can help you make the world a brighter, more cheerful place. Finally, coming to terms with your values and then abiding by them will enable you to introduce a new degree of integrity and dignity into your life.

As you endeavor to develop yourself further, you can take pride not only in your successes, but also in the fact that you are cultivating consciousness within yourself through your choices, actions, and behaviors. While you may never feel you have reached the pinnacles of awareness you hope to achieve, you can make the most of this creative process of transformation. Becoming a better person is your choice and is a natural progression in your journey of self-awareness.

DailyOM

4 Tips on How to Increase Metabolism to Stay Trim

Here are 4 quick suggestions on how to keep your metabolism active so you burn the calories you eat, rather than pack them on your hips and waist!

1. EAT REGULARLY:

As a rule of thumb, eat small meals/snacks every 3-4 hours. This will keep your metabolism active and help you avoid the junk-food urges. Check out these quick snack suggestions.

2. EAT WISELY:
Choose slow-burning carbs, rather than the crash-and-burn white flour and sugar foods. Get the scoop on low glycemic-index (GI) foods here to help you keep your energy sustained. To help you get started, print out your favorites from this list of healthy weight loss recipe suggestions.

3. DO FUN YOGA:
Yoga has been proven to reduce stress, which can be a major influence in packing on the pounds. Our suggestion? Get out and do yoga at the studio, or to save time and money, use the Practical Yoga for Everyday People DVD at home!

4. GET YOUR HEART RATE UP REGULARLY:

Every week, do cardio/aerobic exercises for at least 30-60 minutes. Walking is the easiest way to get your metabolism kicked up a notch (for at least 20 minutes, 3-5 times a week!). Or, if you’re really ready to have fun and sweat, try our Slim & Centered audio workout . Workout at home or take it with you on-the-go, especially when traveling.

Everyday Health - PracticalYoga.TV

Owning Your Emotions

Name It and Claim It

Our feelings can sometimes present a very challenging aspect of our lives. We experience intense emotions without understanding precisely why and consequently find it difficult to identify the solutions that will soothe our distressed minds and hearts. Yet it is only when we are capable of naming our feelings that we can tame them by finding an appropriate resolution. We retake control of our personal power by becoming courageous enough to articulate, out loud and concisely, the essence of our emotions. Our assuming ownership of the challenges before us in this way empowers us to shift from one emotional state to another—we can let go of pain and upset because we have defined it, examined the effect it had on our lives, and then exerted our authority over it by making it our own. By naming our feelings, we claim the right to divest ourselves of them at will.

As you prepare to acknowledge your feelings aloud, gently remind yourself that being specific is an important part of exercising control. Whatever the nature of your feelings, carefully define the reaction taking place within you. If you are afraid of a situation or intimidated by an individual, try not to mince words while giving voice to your anxiety. The precision with which you express yourself is indicative of your overall willingness to stare your feelings in the face without flinching. Naming and claiming cannot always work in the vacuum of the soul. There may be times in which you will find the release you desire only by admitting your feelings before others. When this is the case, your ability to outline your feelings explicitly can help you ask for the support, aid, or guidance you need without becoming mired in the feelings that led you to make such an admission in the first place.

When you have moved past the apprehension associated with expressing your distressing feelings out loud, you may be surprised to discover that you feel liberated and lightened. This is because the act of making a clear connection between your circumstances and your feelings unravels the mystery that previously kept you from being in complete control of your emotional state. To give voice to your feelings, you must necessarily let them go. In the process, you naturally relax and rediscover your emotional equilibrium.

DailyOM

Fiber: The Diet Workhorse

Fiber has many health benefits, from lowering cholesterol levels to keeping you feeling full longer. Find out which high-fiber foods to add to your diet.

If you're trying to diet and finding it too tough to restrict calories because you're always starving, fiber may be just what you're lacking. "It keeps you feeling fuller for longer," says Sandra Meyerowitz, MPH, RD, a nutritionist and owner of Nutrition Works in Louisville, Ky. "You don't get as hungry as quickly, so it helps when somebody's trying to cut back on calories."

Fiber is a carbohydrate, but unlike other carbohydrates, it doesn't get broken down by your body, says Meyerowitz.

Simple carbohydrates, continues Meyerowitz, don't offer the same filling benefits. "With fiber added in, you're more satisfied. Fiber doesn't make the blood sugar go up quite as quickly. It allows the sugar to get into your system more slowly," she explains.

Beyond being a diet aid, there are many health benefits of fiber, including:

• Lowering cholesterol levels
• Improving digestion
• Reducing diabetes risk
• Improving heart health
• Reducing constipation
• Reducing the risk of diverticulitis (inflammation of the intestines)
• Maintaining steady control of blood sugar

Fiber in the Diet: Where to Find Fiber

Fiber is always found in edible plant materials and in the healthiest foods, like whole grains as well as fruits and vegetables. There are two types of fiber: soluble and insoluble. "They act differently in your body when they're being processed,” Meyerowitz explains. “Soluble fiber can be somewhat dissolved by water; insoluble fiber can't."

It's best that you get the fiber you need each day from foods in your diet rather than supplements. Most people need between 20 and 35 grams of fiber each day. Some good fiber-rich food choices are:

• Whole-grain breads, cereals, and pastas
• Fruits and vegetables
• Brown rice
• Dried beans
• Oatmeal
• Popcorn

Getting fiber is great, but don't suddenly jump on the fiber bandwagon and ramp up your intake all at once. Take it slowly, and gradually increase your fiber each day to prevent side effects like diarrhea, abdominal pain, bloating, and gas.

Fiber in the Diet: Smart Choices

Now that you know what foods are fiber-rich and good for you, it's time to start finding ways to work them into your daily meals and snacks. Try these tips to get more fiber every day:

• Have oatmeal or whole-grain cereal for breakfast; top with some fresh fruit.
• Eat fruits and veggies raw and with skins for more fiber (if appropriate).
• Snack on fruits — dried or fresh is fine.
• Have bulgur, barley, or couscous as a side dish.
• Munch on popcorn when you need a snack.
• Switch to brown rice from white rice.
• Replace white pasta with whole-wheat pasta in your favorite dish.
• Add vegetables to pastas and other dishes.
• Get a minimum of 2 cups of fruit and 2.5 cups of veggies every day. Choose those highest in fiber like pears, berries, apples, spinach, sweet potatoes, and peas.
• Have a bran muffin for breakfast or a snack.

Fiber is filling, delicious, and one of the healthiest things you can eat. There are a lot of easy and tasty ways to make fiber a big part of every day, and you'll quickly reap the health benefits. It's a simple way to feel full, be fit, and get your body into a healthy shape. 

By Diana Rodriguez

Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH

Everyday Health - Healthy Aging

Unexpected Enlightenment

You Never Know Who You’ll Meet

Our individual journeys take us into many unexpected situations where we encounter a wide variety of people—some quite like ourselves and some very different. We cannot anticipate these meetings, but we can make the most of them when they take place. When we are courteous as a matter of course and open-minded in our assessment of the individuals whose lives briefly touch our own, we are more apt to stumble upon surprising gems of wisdom that open our eyes to new worlds of possibility. Every person we meet can affect us profoundly, just as every situation we find ourselves in can teach us something new.

To fully embrace this fact, it is essential that we acknowledge that everyone is valuable in their own way and capable of expanding our horizons. Since we never know when we will happen upon those individuals who will unveil truths before us, we should extend to all people the same generous level of kindness, care, compassion, and understanding. When we assume everyone we meet is special and treat them as such, we can develop a strong rapport quickly. By making an effort to adopt a positive attitude toward others at all times, we ensure that our emotions do not blind us to wisdom that may be lurking in difficult or distressing situations. We are accordingly receptive to knowledge that comes to us in the form of examples, advice, and direct teaching.

These brief relationships ultimately have the potential to enrich our lives in a very concrete way. But the wisdom we gain is proportional to the attention we pay to the world around us. The responsibility is on us to maintain a state of awareness that allows us to recognize when we are in the presence of someone consciously or unconsciously in possession of knowledge that will change us significantly. When we are cognizant of the potential for unexpected enlightenment, we make a habit of turning strangers into friends, thus ensuring that we are never without a font of wisdom from which to draw.

DailyOM

Growing Day by Day

Becoming a Better Person

At some point in our lives, many of us find ourselves overcome with the desire to become better people. While we are all uniquely capable of navigating this world, we may nonetheless feel driven to grow, expand, and change. This innate need for personal expansion can lead us down many paths as we develop within the context of our individual lives. Yet the initial steps that can put us on the road to evolution are not always clear. We understand that we want to be better but have no clear definition of “better.” To ease this often frustrating uncertainty, we can take small steps, keeping our own concept of growth in mind rather than allowing others to direct the course of our journey. And we should accept that change won’t happen overnight—we may not recognize the transformations taking place within us at first.

Becoming a better person in your own eyes is a whole-life project, and thus you should focus your step-by-step efforts on multiple areas of your existence. Since you likely know innately which qualities you consider good, growing as an individual is simply a matter of making an effort to do good whenever possible. Respect should be a key element of your efforts. When you acknowledge that all people are deserving of compassion, consideration, and dignity, you are naturally more apt to treat them in the manner you yourself wish to be treated. You will intuitively become a more active listener, universally helpful, and truthful. Going the extra mile in all you do can also facilitate evolution. Approaching your everyday duties with an upbeat attitude and positive expectations can help you make the world a brighter, more cheerful place. Finally, coming to terms with your values and then abiding by them will enable you to introduce a new degree of integrity and dignity into your life.

As you endeavor to develop yourself further, you can take pride not only in your successes, but also in the fact that you are cultivating consciousness within yourself through your choices, actions, and behaviors. While you may never feel you have reached the pinnacles of awareness you hope to achieve, you can make the most of this creative process of transformation. Becoming a better person is your choice and is a natural progression in your journey of self-awareness.

DailyOM

Like No One Is Watching

Shake Your Tail Feathers

Most of us express our distinctiveness in many ways throughout our lives. Although, as we proudly share our offbeat traits and preferences with the world, we take great pains to downplay those eccentricities we ourselves deem odd. Instead of living lives colored by these quirky impulses, we seek out socially acceptable outlets for our peculiarities. We may not realize that we are editing ourselves in this way because our individual societal awareness is unintentionally attuned to the attitudes of the people we encounter each day. Over time, we have learned to suppress some of the most fun aspects of individuality. To rediscover and embrace these buried traits, we need only ask ourselves what we would do if we knew for certain that no one would judge our choices.

Visualizing this day without judgment can help you better understand the idiosyncrasies that are an important part of who you are but seldom manifest themselves in your existence. Perhaps you secretly dream of replacing grown-up, conservative clothing in favor of a changing array of costumes. You may envision yourself painting your car electric-green, hugging the trees in a crowded local park, singing joyous songs as you skip through your community, or taking up an exciting hobby like fire spinning. Try not to be surprised, however, if your imagination takes you in unexpectedly simple directions. In your musings, you may see yourself doing things such as breaking out in dance or dying your hair a fun color. Regardless of the nature of your suppressed peculiarities, ask yourself what is really stopping you from making them a part of your life, and then resolve to incorporate at least one into your everyday existence.

Life as we know it is so short. Making the most of years we are granted is a matter of being ourselves even though we know that we will inevitably encounter people who disapprove of our choices. When you shake your tail feathers like no one is watching, you will discover that there are many others who appreciate you because you are willing to let go of any inhibition. By doing this you help others know it is okay. No one else in the world is precisely like you and, each time you revel in this simple fact, you rededicate yourself to the celebration of individuality.

DailyOM

Decorating Life

The World as Home

There are few things more thrilling than having a new house or an empty room to decorate. Our imaginations soar as we consider the many possibilities. In the same way, our lives offer us the opportunity to express ourselves within various contexts, to ask ourselves questions about what we want to see as we move through our days and how we want things to flow. Some people do this instinctively, moving through the various environments they inhabit and shifting the energy with their presence. These people have a knack for decorating life. This can be as simple as the way they dress, the way they speak, or the fact that they always bring a bouquet of wildflowers when they come for a visit.

As we move through the world, we make a statement, whether we intend to or not. We shift the energy one way when we enter a room dressed elegantly and simply, and another when we show up in bright, cheerful colors and a floppy hat. One is not better than the other. It is simply a question of the mood we wish to create. What we wear is just one choice we can focus on. The way we speak to people, or touch them, shifts the energy more profoundly than almost anything else. The words we speak and the tone in which we say them are the music we choose to play in the world that is our home. Some of us fill the space with passionate arias, others with healing hymns. Again, one is not better than the other. We are all called to contribute.

Just as we consciously create an environment within our homes, we can consciously choose to decorate life itself with our particular energy. Ideally, in doing so, we express our deeper selves, so that the adornments we add to the world make it more meaningful, more beautiful, and as welcoming as a beloved home.

DailyOM

The Reciprocal Flow of Abundance

Giving Without Expectations

Since giving and receiving are so intimately intertwined in our lives, we often expect that we can attract abundance by simply conducting ourselves in an open handed fashion. Yet we find ourselves wallowing in disappointment when our ample generosity is not met with the expected results. The answer to this quandary lies in the expectations that, in part, initially prompted us to give. Though our intention is likely pure, we can unintentionally mar the beautiful experience of giving by focusing on what we will eventually receive in return. When we let go of the notion that we deserve to receive gifts based on giving gifts, bounty can once again flow freely in and out of our lives.

When the gifts you give are laden down with expectations, they cease to be gifts and become units of exchange that you are, in effect, trading for some reward. Thus, the reciprocal laws of the universe err on the side of the giver who shares for the sake of sharing. You may have seen this simple truth at work in your own experience, perhaps when life's busyness prevented you from spending too much time contemplating the results your charitable actions would ultimately have on the lives of others. It was likely then that you received the greatest gifts in return for your kindness. If you have trouble divesting yourself of your expectations, you may need to reflect upon the root of your inability to act in the true spirit of giving. Each time you make a gift, whether spiritual or tangible, ask yourself if there is something you hope to receive in return. You may be surprised to discover that you expect to be repaid with an easy life, financial windfalls, or opportunities.

To integrate this most selfless form of generosity into your life, you will have to let go of your need to be in control. Accepting that while like inevitably attracts like, it typically does so on an unobservable timetable. This can help you stop weighing the gifts you give against those you have received. Giving eventually becomes a profound joy that stands alone, separate from any and all conditions, and you will learn to appreciate the flow of reciprocal abundance as a gift in and of itself.

DailyOM

Cause for Celebration

Honoring Everyday Life

We all know someone who keeps plastic covers on his or her couch in order to protect it. The irony is that many of these people may live their lives without ever having actually made contact with their own furniture! This is a poignant and somewhat humorous example of the human tendency to try to save things for special occasions, as if everyday life weren’t special enough to warrant the use of nice things. Many of us have had the experience of never wearing a particular piece of clothing in order to keep it nice, only to have it go out of style in the meanwhile.

It’s interesting to think of what it would mean to us if we let ourselves wear our nicest clothes and eat off the good china on a daily basis. We might be sending ourselves the message that every day we are alive is a special day and a cause for celebration, and that we are worth it. There is something uplifting about treating ourselves to the finest of what we have. It is as if we rise to the occasion when we wear our best clothes and set the table beautifully, as if for a very special guest. We are more mindful of where we place things, what we are eating, and who is with us. Using the good china, eating in the dining room, and taking the plastic off the sofa might be an invitation to be more conscious of the beauty and grace inherent in our everyday lives.

If there are things you’ve stashed away for a special occasion—a bottle of special wine, a gorgeous pair of shoes, an antique lace tablecloth—consider taking them out of their hiding places and putting them to use tonight, just because you are alive now to enjoy them, and that’s a great cause for a celebration.

DailyOM

Healthy Holiday Drinks

The best way to minimize empty calories this holiday is to limit sugary and alcoholic drinks, or avoid them all together (see yesterday's Daily Tip, Unhealthy Holiday Drinks, for more information). But that doesn't mean that you can't enjoy traditional beverages, just be sure to moderate your intake of sugars and alcohol, and drink water between cocktails to keep hydrated. The following drinks are lower-calorie holiday options when you want something sweet or alcoholic.

1. Sparkling non-alcoholic punch. The calories can vary, but most holiday punch can easily be diluted with additional sparkling water to reduce calories and sugars. If you are making your own punch at home, use unsweetened cranberry juice concentrate.
2. Red wine. The antioxidant activity of red wine has been linked to heart health benefits, reduced stress, and even preserving memory. Limit yourself to a six-ounce glass, which typically has about 120 calories.
3. Hot toddy. A combination of lemon, honey, cinnamon, cloves and brandy, this beverage has between 100 and 150 calories and provides some vitamin C thanks to the lemon juice.
4. Champagne. This celebratory drink has about 90 calories in a four-ounce glass.

DrWeil.com

10 Tips for Surviving Thanksgiving with the Dysfunctional Family

For some families, holidays are just another excuse to get together to eat good food and to have a good time. They’re not looking for articles like this one because they’ve somehow figured out the formula for successful family togetherness with minimum stress. If you have a challenging family, it’s only human to be a bit incredulous and then more than a bit jealous to see other folks living out the holiday fantasy when you’re just trying to live through it.

Just because it’s always been that way doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a lifetime of Thanksgivings where you just grin and go to your happy place until, thank goodness, it’s over! You can make a difference. You may even be able to start to enjoy your personal dysfunctional crowd. With a little planning and some social engineering, you can take control of the situation and make this Thanksgiving feel better.

First, make an honest appraisal of the family. It’s not new information that your mother doesn’t like your sister’s husband or your grandmother is going to want attention for her latest ache and pain. It’s not news to anyone that so-and-so has to be the center of attention or so-and-so somehow gets her feelings hurt every year. Instead of denying these realities, plan for them. (You get extra credit if you can find a way to have a sense of humor about them too.) Then consider using the following tips to begin to avoid at least some of the usual family drama.

1. Line up some co-conspirators. Chances are you’re not the only one who is irked by your family’s dysfunctional routines. Figure out who you can call on to help make things different. Then do some pre-event strategizing. Agree to tag-team each other with the folks you all find particularly difficult. Set up a signal you’ll use to call in a replacement. Brainstorm ways to steer a certain individual’s most tiresome and troublesome antics in a different direction.

2. Ask your co-conspirators to brainstorm ways to give challenging relatives an assignment: Is someone always critical of the menu? Ask her if she would please bring that complicated dish that is her trademark so she’ll have a place to shine. Is there a teenager who mopes about, bringing everyone down? Maybe offer to pay him to entertain the younger set for a couple hours after dinner so the adults can talk.

3. Invite “buffers.” Most people’s manners improve when outsiders enter the scene. If you can count on your family to put their best feet forward for company, invite some. (If not, don’t.) There are always people who would love a place to go on holidays or who would like to experience a real American Thanksgiving. Think about elderly people in your church or community whose grown children live far away, or divorced friends whose kids are with the other parent this year, or foreign exchange students from your local high school or college.

4. Nowhere is it written that there shall be alcohol whenever a family gets together. If there are problem drinkers in the family, let everyone know ahead of time that you are holding an alcohol-free party. Serve sparkling cider and an interesting non-alcoholic punch. People in your family who can’t stand being at a gathering without an alcoholic haze will probably leave early or decline the invitation. Everyone else will be spared another holiday ruined by someone’s inability to handle their drinking.

5. Take charge of seating. Have some of the younger kids make place cards and assign seats. Folks are less likely to switch places when admiring kids’ handiwork. Put people who rub each other the wrong way at opposite ends of the table. Seat the most troublesome person right next to you or one of your co-conspirators so that you can head off unfortunate conversation topics as soon as they start.

6. Guide the conversation. If your family doesn’t seem to know how to talk without getting into arguments or if you’re not the most socially adept person yourself, give yourself some help by introducing The Conversation Game (see below). Announce at the beginning of the meal that you want to use the gathering as a time to get to know each other better. Ask everyone to indulge you by playing the game for at least part of the meal. Hopefully, people will like this change in family dynamics enough to want to keep it going.

7. Give kids a way to be included. Then set them free. Kids are simply not going to enjoy being trapped at a table with adults (especially dysfunctional adults) for extended periods of time. They get restless. They get whiny. They slump in their chairs. Yes, they should be expected to behave with at least a minimum of decorum during the meal but head off complaints and tantrums by planning something for them to do while the adults linger at the table. Have the materials for a simple craft project set up and ready to go. Remember that teenager in #4? Perhaps this is when she plays a game outside with the younger kids while older ones watch a movie.

8. No willing teens? Set up a childcare schedule ahead of time so the adults spell each other. Auntie oversees a kid project while the rest of the adults finish their meal. Uncle takes the kids out to run around between dinner and desert. Plan ahead to share the load and nobody feels martyred and everybody has a better time.

By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.
November 18, 2009

Everyday Health - Emotional Health

Staying Sharp

If you hope to live a long life, it pays to ensure that you stay sharp enough to enjoy it. Researchers have found that the time needed to process information grows longer as you age — 2,040 milliseconds longer in one study that asked older and younger people to find gaps in a circle. Generally speaking, tests of memory, learning, and intelligence done with different age groups suggest there is only a slight decline in mental acuity over time. So you can teach an old dog new tricks. It simply may take a bit more time and effort.

However, problems that become more common with age can compromise your mental abilities. Hearing loss or poor vision can bar vital input and make it difficult to learn and remember information. Medications can affect concentration, initiate memory loss, or change the levels of key brain chemicals. Imaging studies suggest that hypertension actually causes small strokes that damage the brain. Not surprisingly, people with high blood pressure are more prone to memory impairment than those with normal blood pressure. Other problems — such as heart bypass surgery, dementia, strokes, trouble sleeping, and depression — can all affect intellectual functions, too.

Thankfully, you can do plenty to fight back.

Challenge your mind. Staying mentally active appears to help ward off memory loss. Engaging in challenging board games, reading, working crossword puzzles, playing a musical instrument, and acquiring new skills keep your mind fit. Such activities seem to expand the web of neuronal connections in the brain and help keep neurons nimble and alive.

Challenge your body. Just like cells anywhere else in the body, brain cells crave a steady diet of oxygen. Physically active people are more likely to stay mentally active, too. Two Journal of the American Medical Association studies published in 2004 underscore this notion. After testing nearly 19,000 women ages 70–81 enrolled in the Nurses' Health Study, researchers found that those who engaged in regular physical activity scored higher on tests of attention, recall, and other markers of cognitive function and exhibited less mental decline than more sedentary peers. Vigorous exercise wasn't necessary — walking at an easy pace for at least 1.5 hours a week was nearly as effective as more active pursuits. Similarly, walking reduced the likelihood of dementia in a study of more than 2,000 men ages 71–93. Compared with those who walked over 2 miles a day, men who walked less than one-quarter mile a day had a 1.8-fold higher risk for developing dementia.

Get your rest. Too little sleep can affect memory. Six hours may be the minimum needed, although researchers testing college students found those who had eight hours were better able to learn new skills. Interestingly, some experts believe sleep inhibits stress hormones.

Limit stress. Researchers speculate that consistently high levels of stress hormones, such as cortisol, may impair nerve cells in the hippocampus, which oversees certain types of learning and recall. In a randomized study, healthy adults were given a daily dose of cortisol for four days — either a low dose that mimicked the amount released under everyday stress or a high dose. Those who had higher doses recalled fewer details of texts read to them each day. Their memory impairment was reversible once the cortisol wore off. Meditating, performing yoga or tai chi, or using other stress-reduction techniques regularly helps ease stress.

Watch your weight. Staying within a normal weight range lowers your risk for illnesses such as diabetes, hypertension, and stroke, which can compromise memory to varying degrees.

Check with your doctor. Are you getting annual checkups for hearing and sight? Are there any factors — such as medications, vitamin deficiencies, or chronic conditions — that could be better managed to help you stay as mentally sharp as possible? Discuss these issues with your doctor.

From the Harvard Health Publications Special Health Report, Living Better, Living Longer: The Secrets of Healthy Aging. Copyright 2005 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College. Illustrations by Harriet Greenfield and Marcia Williams. All rights reserved. Written permission is required to reproduce, in any manner, in whole or in part, the material contained herein. To make a reprint request, contact Harvard Health Publications. Used with permission of StayWell.

7 Ways to Zap Stress Before it Strikes

Certain everyday situations have huge potential for causing stress. But by being organized and easing up on self-imposed time pressures, you can dodge these situations and skip the stress.

Sometimes, stressful situations occur because we let them — once you allow stress get to you, tension and anxiety can mount very quickly. Here are some common anxiety-creating everyday events, and ways you can reduce stress and minimize their impact on your life:

1. Being stuck in traffic. There are few feelings as frustrating as being in traffic that has come to a dead stop or is crawling along when you need to get somewhere in a hurry — your child’s school, your office, or a doctor's appointment. You can’t anticipate an accident on the road, but you can do some advance planning to avoid stress:

• When possible, avoid scheduling appointments during peak traffic hours; when that’s not possible, give yourself twice the time to get to your destination.
• Research alternate routes or adjust your work schedule if leaving home 15 minutes earlier, for instance, can help you avoid traffic. And if you do get stuck, keep in mind that while you can't control the traffic, you can control your reaction to the situation: Use your time constructively and reduce stress by listening to an audio book or practicing deep-breathing relaxation to prevent frayed nerves. If you’re going to be late for a meeting or appointment, call ahead to explain what’s happened rather than keeping someone else waiting. The person on the other end of the phone will probably be more understanding of your predicament than you expect.

2. Arriving on time. To reduce stress from being late, plan for unforeseen delays and give yourself extra time to reach your destination. If you arrive early, use the extra minutes to freshen up, get organized, return a phone call that you thought you’d have to delay, and delight in the fact that you avoided the stress of cutting it too close!

3. Meeting a deadline at work. It may not be uncommon for your boss to ask you to complete a project on short notice. You can use this opportunity to flounder or shine. Being organized in general can help make a pressing deadline a little less stressful. Practicing good time management skills will also reduce stress when you're crunched for time. Consider writing out a concrete to-do list or making a schedule to help stay on track even when a major deadline is looming. Taking these methodic steps will increase your confidence level and help you avoid stress.

4. Making a presentation. Many people become anxious about giving a presentation whether it’s at work, a PTA meeting, or in front of a volunteer group. Taking the necessary time to get ready, though, can help you avoid stress. Plan ahead so you have plenty of opportunities to prepare, review, and give a dry run in front of a friend or your spouse — if you feel confident about your knowledge of the material, you will reduce stress. If you’re feeling nervous, relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing before, during, and after your presentation, can help slow your heart rate and make you feel calmer.

5. Arguing with friends, family, or coworkers. It's normal not to always see eye-to-eye with those around you. Even so, a disagreement doesn't have to become a stressful confrontation. When you approach your loved one or co-worker respectfully — and recognize that you are each entitled to your own opinion — and having different opinions doesn’t have to change your opinion of one another. If it seems like an argument is spiraling out of control, take a deep breath and step back from the situation. A brief time-out can help both of you keep things in perspective.

6. Having a financial problem. Planning for potential financial issues ahead of time can help you reduce stress. Focus on building up your savings, consider taking an additional job if necessary, and stick to a reasonable budget. Living within your means and replenishing your savings account can help significantly reduce financial stress. If you do find yourself in a financial bind, seek out the advice of a financial counselor who can help you deal with creditors and find ways to cut your bills.

7. Waiting in line. Lines always seem to be longer when you're in a rush. Unfortunately, waiting in line is another stressful situation that you can't control, but you can anticipate and plan for by shopping at off-hours and online. If you're pressed for time, put off tasks, like going to the post office, where there's likely to be a long line. Look for stress-free ways to get your tasks done; using the U.S. Postal Service, it’s now possible to mail almost anything from home — you can print out postage and even request a pickup. Use self-checkout aisles at stores; they’re often less crowded. And if you have no choice but to wait in line, take deep breaths, think of something soothing, and simply try to let your stress go (but don’t give in to that impulse candy purchase!).

Careful planning and a change in your overall attitude can also go a long way toward reducing stress … and what a relief that will be!

Everyday Health - Emotional Health

By Diana Rodriguez

Medically reviewed by Niya Jones, MD, MPH

Making It Happen

Go for It

There are times in our lives when all the signs seem to be pointing us in a particular direction. Our thoughts and dreams are echoed in the songs and stories we hear and the media we see. Maybe the message we are getting from the universe doesn’t even make sense in the “real” world, but somewhere inside, these urges feel right. Maybe you feel you are being told to move to a new city although your life where you are is just fine. Or maybe you feel the desire to pursue a new direction in your career when it never really interested you before. When we spend time getting in touch with our higher selves, our intuition sends us directives to lead us to become our best and most fulfilled selves. And when we are open and listening, the next step is to take action and go for it.

Once we make the decision to pursue our inner urgings, the universe sets into motion the means for all sorts of details to fall into place. A sense of peace will come over us, because we know that any questions will no longer make us wonder if our dreams are possible, but how to make them happen. Instead of deterring us from our goal, these questions only serve to clarify our focus to move us forward. We need not throw caution to the wind to follow our dream. The positive shift in our energy affects everything around us. Like a rush of water, it goes ahead to clear debris from our path so that we can go forward. Our new attitude also attracts like minded people. Sometimes even the most unlikely angels arrive to help us along our way with the information and support we need.

Wherever your dreams are pointing you today, take a step. Take action and manifest your inner urges and soul whisperings.

DailyOM

The Whole Is Greater

Women's Circles

Women’s circles are formal or informal gatherings in the interest of bonding, sharing energy, and creating ritual. The origins of women’s circles are ancient, but their applications are as modern as the women who participate in them. There are no hard and fast rules as to how to form a women’s circle or how to run one. Some circles invent their own agendas, rituals, goals, and ceremonies, while others borrow ideas from sources as far-ranging as Buddhist or Native American cultures. Some circles are open to new members at all times, while others prefer to practice with a set number of members, closing the circle once that number is reached.

In a typical gathering, the women who are present sit in a circle. Generally, for the sake of cohesiveness, one woman is chosen to lead the circle each time. Allowing a different woman to lead each meeting allows for a multi-perspective approach to the process. One circle leader may choose to create and teach a ritual involving using the voice to release negative energy, while at the next meeting another leader may feel inspired to lead a silent meditation. On the other hand, a circle may choose to be more focused over the long term and gather around a particular intention, such as working together to determine a course for healing Mother Earth. When the healing feels complete, the women may choose to stay together with a new focus for their work, or the circle may disband.

At their best, women’s circles perfectly illustrate the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. The work that can be accomplished within the loving embrace of our sisters is far more powerful than what we could achieve on our own. If you are not already part of a circle, you may want to start one. Follow your intuition as to the women with whom you’d like to work, reach out to them, and set a date to begin. After that, you can simply allow the circle to create itself. Men need not be forgotten when it comes to circles and they, too, can come together to form their own circles and create strong bonds and healing in a way that is specific to all men.

DailyOM

Exercising With Knee Pain

Just because you suffer from knee pain doesn't mean you have to stop exercising. Learn how to continue living an active lifestyle with knee pain.

When you have knee pain, exercising may be the last thing on your mind. But exercising could be the best thing you can do for your knees.

“Exercise is good therapy for knee pain, but it needs to be the right kind of exercise,” says Steven Stuchin, MD, director of orthopedic surgery at NYU Hospital for Joint Diseases in New York City. Pounding your knees with high-impact exercise or overdoing it during workouts could make your knee pain worse. But it’s easy to avoid problems by following these dos and don’ts for exercising with knee pain.

Do exercise in the water. If you’re worried that exercising will be too hard on your knees, try exercising in water first. “Water’s buoyancy will take the load off your knees, allowing you to exercise with less pain and stress on your joints,” says Dr. Stuchin. In fact, a recent Australian study comparing land and water exercise in people with knee pain found that aquatic exercisers had more pain relief immediately following the exercise sessions compared those who exercised on land.

Don't participate in high-impact activities. Basketball, tennis, racquetball, squash, soccer, and football are hard on the knees because they involve sudden starts, stops, and turns, as well as jumping (and landing). Avoid any type of exercise that involves jumping if you have knee pain, recommends Stuchin.

Do walk. Moderate walking is recommended for people with knee pain because it’s a low-impact activity. If your joints are painful and stiff, start slowly and work up to 20 minutes of walking per day, recommends Stuchin. Plus, daily walking will help with weight loss — another bonus since carrying extra weight puts stress on the knees.

Don't exercise on hard surfaces. “Walking or running on concrete or asphalt is a bad idea when you suffer from knee pain because these surfaces have no shock absorption,” says Glenn Gaesser, PhD, professor of exercise physiology at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. Dr. Gaesser recommends dirt paths — grass is another good option because it absorbs shock, but it tends to be bumpy and uneven. If grass and dirt don't sound appealing, take your walk indoors. “Treadmills have the most consistent surfaces and pretty good shock absorption,” says Gaesser.

Do use knee-friendly exercise equipment. Stationary bikes and elliptical machines (a cross between a stair-climber and bicycle) allow you to get a good aerobic workout without stressing your knee joints. “Recumbent stationary bikes are even better because you’re not sitting upright while exercising, which takes more weight off the knee joints,” says Gaesser.

Don't bend the knees excessively. Avoid doing full squats and leg presses. These strength-training routines often require bending the knees beyond 90 degrees, which puts excessive pressure and strain on the knees, says Stuchin.

Do strengthen muscles. “Like a natural knee brace, stronger muscles will help compensate for weak or injured tendons, ligaments, and joints,” says Stuchin. The quadriceps and hamstrings are the two main muscle groups that support the knee. Do straight leg raises to strengthen the quadriceps and walk backward to help strengthen the hamstrings.

Don't overdo it. When muscles are fatigued, they can’t absorb as much shock, says Stuchin, which places extra stress on the knees. Start your exercise program slowly and make sure to switch up your exercises every day to help avoid overuse injuries like tendinitis. Consider alternating walking and swimming, for example.

Do warm up and stretch. “Warm, flexible muscles aren’t injured as easily,” says Gaesser. Take a few minutes to stretch the quadriceps and hamstrings before your workout. Then start with five minutes of slow walking before getting into the pool or pedaling on the stationary bike. This will also get your heart rate and breathing revved up slowly, which is beneficial for overall fitness.

Although knee pain may present some exercise barriers, many kinds of exercise are easy on the joints and will make your knees feel better, not worse. “Most people with arthritis and other kinds of knee pain don’t get enough exercise,” says Stuchin. “Exercising regularly can help ease knee pain, improve joint function, and improve overall health.” If you aren’t sure what kind of exercising you should do for your specific knee pain, consult your doctor or work with a physical therapist.

By Jan Sheehan

Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH

Uncharted Territory

Feeling Lost

When we are lost, we typically look at a map to figure out where we are and how to get to our chosen destination. This works well, assuming that there is a map of the territory in which we find ourselves, and assuming that we know our destination. However, this is not always the case. At this time in human history, we are all venturing into uncharted territory, whether we know it or not. And as individuals, we may find ourselves covering ground that our predecessors never even knew existed. When we look to them for guidance, they often come up short. Not knowing exactly where we are, we find ourselves unsure of which way to go, and eventually the uneasy feeling that we are lost presents itself.

The beauty of being lost is the same thing that makes it scary—it asks us to look within ourselves to find the way. If we have no map, we must go on instinct, relying on our inner compass to show us which way to go. This can be scary because so much seems to be riding on it. We fear we might go too far in the wrong direction, or become paralyzed and make no progress at all. And yet, this is the very challenge we need to develop our ability to trust ourselves. We are also learning to trust that the universe will support and guide us. We may believe this intellectually, but it is only through experience that it becomes knowledge of the heart. Learning to be okay with being lost and trusting that we will be guided, we begin our journey.

We can support ourselves by confirming that we don’t need to know exactly where we are going in order to take our first steps. We are learning to feel our own way, rather than following an established path, and in doing so we learn to trust ourselves. It is this trust that connects us to the universe and reminds us that no matter how lost we feel, and even as we journey, on the inner level we are already home.

DailyOM

The Health Consequences of Sitting All Day

Most people sit all day, every day. This is an unfortunate consequence of the advancement of society. The majority of us do not work in fields that are labor intensive. Our tools have evolved. We now use keyboards, mice, and hand-held “crack-berries”.

What consequence does this have on our health?

The most common manifestation of prolonged sitting is weakness in the gluteus maximus, otherwise known as the “buttocks”. The gluteus maximus under normal circumstances is the largest skeletal muscle in the body. It is a “work horse” muscle that  powers walking, stair climbing, and countless other tasks. If the buttocks muscles are not required to work, you can easily develop lower back pain or hip bursitis.

Buttock weakness is easy to identify. One overt sign is visual atrophy. In many individuals we will see a lack of muscle bulk. At times a concavity can be seen where there should normally be a convexity in muscle tissue. Many people will also not be able to actively contract the buttocks while lying flat. Place your hand under your buttocks in the supine position (lying flat on your back) and see if you can make the buttocks contract. If you cannot elicit a strong contraction, you have a problem.

Another sign of buttock weakness can be seen when one tries to perform a “bridge”. Try this at home on a flat surface. (Always, make sure that you have the permission of your doctor to exercise before you do something like this.)

Lie flat on your back, bend your knees and keep your feet flat on the floor. Lift your pelvis approximately one foot off the floor by pushing through your feet. Hold this position for 10 seconds. Buttock weakness will often coincide with cramping of the hamstrings, or the back of the legs, in the bridge position.

For higher-level athletes, subtle buttock weakness can be seen when the bridging test is performed with only one leg supporting the body’s weight.

If you have identified weakness in your seat muscles, do something about it. It is very important that you start with the most basic of exercises and gradually increase the number of repetitions before you increase the complexity of the exercises. The most simple exercise to perform is the buttock squeeze. This exercise is portable: You can do this while seated or lying down. Simply tighten the buttocks and hold for a count of five seconds. Build up your repetitions until you can perform this 10 times.

Daniel Baumstark

Physical Rehab and Injury Prevention

Avoiding Holiday Weight Gain

If your eating strategy for the holidays is to make smart choices (rather than just depriving yourself) chances are you will avoid seasonal weight gain. Try these healthy eating tips this holiday season:

1. Choose fiber-rich fruits and vegetables for appetizers, eat high-calorie foods sparingly, and avoid dishes high in saturated fat and sodium.
2. Be aware of what you eat. To help prevent overindulging - and the stomachache, bloating and other gastrointestinal discomfort that can come with it - be mindful when you are eating, and stop when you are feeling full.
3. Don't starve yourself all day to justify eating more at dinner. Eating a satisfying breakfast can ward off the temptation to overindulge later in the day.
4. Savor your foods. Choose foods that you really love to eat, chew each bite slowly, and savor all the flavors and aroma. Eating slowly not only allows you to enjoy and be thankful for your food, but helps prevent overeating: it takes 20 minutes for the stomach to signal the brain that you're full.
5. Get up from the table when you're done, in order to avoid nibbling.
6. Once your meal is over, take a walk to help digest your food and think about what a wonderful experience you just had - and the company and conversations that contributed to making it memorable and enjoyable.

DrWeil.com

The Healing Power of Friendships

Social connections can help you stay healthier and happier throughout life.

Maintaining friendships, new and old, is an essential part of emotional wellness, but it's also important for your continued physical health as you age, experts say. When friends fade from your life, live at a greater distance, or die, you are more likely to experience loneliness and depression in later years. And with isolation also comes a greater risk for serious health issues, such as high blood pressure and death from a stroke or heart disease, according to a study done by researchers at the University of Chicago. They also found that links between loneliness and rates of cancer run parallel, as do increases in inflammation and decreases in antibody production.

"This doesn't mean that everyone who is lonely will have health problems as they age," says Louise Hawkley, PhD, associate director of the Social Neuroscience Laboratory of the University of Chicago and one of the lead researchers in the Chicago study. "It just puts them at a higher risk."

Hawkley and fellow researcher John Cacioppo also found increased levels of epinephrine, the fight-or-flight hormone, in the loneliest people they studied. "The more years you live, the more stressful experiences you're bound to have," says Hawkley. "While not everyone who experiences losses will feel lonely, in those who do, loneliness can lead to problems like depression. And that may then contribute to high blood pressure and high cortisol levels, when stress hormones get out of whack."

Changing Friendship Trends
Today, more and more people are facing the challenges of loneliness. According to a 2006 study in the American Sociological Review, on average most Americans feel that they have two close friends, down from three friends two decades ago in 1985. During this same period, the percentage of people reporting no close confidantes rose from 10 percent to almost 25 percent, with 19 percent citing only one close relationship — often with a spouse. "Men in particular tend to rely on their spouses for fulfilling their social needs," Hawkley explains. "So if the socially active spouse always does the initiating and she dies, it's a steep learning curve for the spouse that remains to start from scratch.

"The older you get, it seems, the less you want to spend a bunch of energy on less than feel-good relationships," says Hawkley, who believes people become more selective about choosing their friends as the years pass. That's not to say that forming new friendships — or holding onto old ones — decreases in importance over time, however. Overall, friendships become only more precious as serious life issues begin to arise with advancing age.

Patterns of Friendship
In fact, relationships shift throughout our lives because of changing lifestyles and circumstances. "It's perfectly natural that our friendships change over time," says Irene Levine, PhD, psychologist and founder of the blog fractured friendships.com. "Friendships are usually based on shared interests and values. And some situations, like living in the same neighborhood, or having children the same age, make it easy for certain relationships to flourish. Unfortunately, over the years as your lifestyle changes, you may lose track of these friends. And that means it's time to make new friends, whose life situation now more closely resembles your own."

How to Make Friendship a Priority
If you're looking for ways to bond with new people or even to rekindle some old-time relationships, here are some tips on where to begin:

• Make an effort. You need to take some initiative and not leave everything to others. And while it's good to seek out new acquaintances, it's also important to stay in touch with your regular friends too, maybe with a weekly telephone conversation or lunch date.
• Try to reconnect. You may also fondly remember people you once liked and have now lost touch with. Ask about them through mutual friends. Use the long arm of the Internet and social networking sites like classmates.com and reunion.com, to try to locate school friends or work associates from your past.
• Take it slow. There's no need to be overly hasty. A better course is probably to ease into friendships rather than trying to befriend the first person you meet. A little get-acquainted time will show you whether the other person will be compatible and trustworthy over the long run.
• Be realistic. Try to keep your expectations firmly focused on what you can bring to a new friendship. This means demanding more from yourself than from the other person.
• Just do it. You may need to be persistent in your attempts to form friendships, so don't get discouraged. And try not to get too caught up in your own expectations about how difficult or easy it should be to make a new friend.
• Extend your comfort zone. Spread your social network by joining groups that appeal to a wide span of interests. Though it can be challenging, consider stepping out of your comfort zone to associate with different types of people. Who knows what interesting characters you'll meet?
• Be positive. Try to leave the old baggage behind. Root out negative thoughts you may have about friendships in your past and try to approach potential new friendships with an open mind.

Just remember, says Hawkley, "there are lots of ways to connect with other people, and making new friends is a good cushion against the inevitable losses that come with time."

By Linda Melone

The Time You Find

Simplifying Your Schedule

For many, life is a hodgepodge of never-ending commitments. Yet few of us can be truly healthy or happy without regular periods of downtime. While there is nothing inherently wrong with busyness, those of us who over-commit or over-extend ourselves potentially face exhaustion and burnout. When you feel overwhelmed by your commitments, examining your motivation for taking on so many obligations can help you understand why you feel compelled to do so much. You may discover that you are being driven by fear that no one else will do the job or guilt that you aren’t doing enough. To regain your equilibrium and clear the clutter from your calendar, simplify your life by establishing limits regarding what you will and will not do based on your personal priorities.

Determining where your priorities lie can be as easy as making two lists: one that outlines all those obligations that are vital to your well being, such as work, meditation, and exercise, and another that describes everything you do that is not directly related to your well being. Although there will likely be items in the latter list that excite your passion or bring you joy, you may discover that you devote a large portion of your time to unnecessary activities. To simplify your schedule, consider which of these unnecessary activities add little value to your life and edit them from your agenda. Remember that you may need to ask for help, say no firmly, or delegate responsibility in order to distance yourself from such encumbrances. However, as you divest yourself of non-vital obligations that cause you stress, serve no purpose, or rob you of opportunities to refresh yourself, you will feel more energetic and enthusiastic about life in general.

If simplifying your schedule seems prohibitively difficult and you still feel pressed to take on more, try imagining how each new commitment will impact your life before saying yes. When you consider the hassle associated with superfluous obligations, you may be surprised to see that your schedule is impeding your attempts to grow as an individual. Your willingness to pare down your agenda, no matter how gradual your progress, will empower you to retake active control of the life that defines you.

DailyOM

Yoga and Meditation — An Ancient Answer to Modern Day Stress

Lisa, a 37-year-old mother of two, was racing through life, trying to juggle responsibilities at home, at work, and at her church, where she volunteered each week. One day, at her annual doctor's appointment, her doctor told her she had high blood pressure. Her busy schedule had slowly eroded her good eating habits and put an end to her regular fitness walks with friends. Now Lisa was 40 pounds overweight and facing the added dangers that accompany a high blood pressure diagnosis. She was intrigued when her doctor suggested yoga and meditation as part of her treatment.

Lisa is not alone. Thousands of women are learning that the ancient Indian practices of yoga and meditation can provide real health benefits. Medical studies show that yoga and meditation may be helpful for those with a variety of conditions, including heart disease, asthma, epilepsy, multiple sclerosis, PMS, anxiety, and stress. By stretching the body and relaxing the mind, experts say that the benefits of yoga and meditation are enormous.

"Yoga and meditation focus people," says Rachel Donnell, Community Health Nurse at Red Lake Comprehensive Health Services, which is a Red Lake Indian Reservation in Red Lake, Minnesota. "Women get so caught up in the everyday world; they have to take time to regenerate and rejuvenate." Donnell, who regularly practices yoga herself, adds, "It gives you the power to do what you want to do."

What Is Yoga?

Yoga is a system built on three main structures: exercise, breathing, and meditation. When yoga is practiced regularly, these systems are designed to work in unison and produce a clear mind and a strong body.

There are four types or "paths" of yoga: Jnana, the path of knowledge; Bhakti, the path of devotion; Karma, the path of action; and Raja, the path of self-control. For each path, there are a number of different styles of yoga practiced. Hatha yoga (which is actually part of Raja yoga) is the form most popular in the West and focuses on postures and breathing.

All forms of yoga should be thought of as a process rather than a type of exercise. In most fitness programs, for example, someone who has not been physically active may begin exercising with a goal of touching her fingers to her toes. A more avid athlete will train for months or even years to achieve her goal of completing a marathon. With yoga, by contrast, the focus is on what you are doing — specific postures (asana) and exercises (pranayama) — and how you feel while you are doing them.

What Is Meditation?

Meditation is a part of most yoga practices. It involves concentrating on something simple — the breath, for example — to take attention away from the random thought activity that occupies the mind. Meditation allows people to slow the high speed movies that run through their heads and put them in touch with the quiet that is so often craved. A simple meditation may involve the following technique:

• Sit in a comfortable position, either in a chair or on the floor, with your back and head straight.
• Warm up with a couple of deep, cleansing breaths.
• Close your eyes and breathe through your nose.
• Focus on your breath — slowly breathing in and out. If your mind wanders (which will likely happen), just bring your attention back to the breath.
• Start with a 5-10 minute meditation and work up to 15-20 minutes or more.

Studies show that regular meditation is great therapy for those recovering from surgery or an emotional trauma. Meditation has also been shown to relax the tension of the gross and subtle muscles and the autonomic nervous system and provide freedom from mental stress. There is no one, "right" way to meditate; however, here are some guidelines to help you achieve the greatest benefit:

• Meditate every day, ideally at the same time each day (most people agree morning is best).
• Designate a special place for meditation and use it only for meditation.
• While meditating, sit straight and vertical.
• Meditate before a meal (not right after one).

Hundreds of individuals and groups teach yoga and meditation. Many different techniques are taught, some more spiritual in nature and others are mainly concerned with stress-reduction and gaining a little peace of mind. You may want to go to a couple of different classes before choosing a style that is right for you. The path you choose could change your life.

Everyday Health - Healthy Living

Creating Connections While Apart

Family Ceremonies

Life's journeys may sometimes take us away from our families and friends, but there are many ways to stay connected. Aside from making use of the technology available—speaking on the phone or seeing each other from across cyberspace—we can create simple ceremonies using nature and our own thoughts to connect our hearts across the miles.

The first step in creating your ceremony is to look to nature for similarities in the different surroundings. The second step is agreeing upon something that is meaningful to all involved. If your mother loves birds, then perhaps each time you hear a bird chirp, you can think of her and mentally send love. You may choose the sight of a butterfly, the feel of a breeze or raindrops, or the scent of flowers to remind you of a special someone. The pink glow of sunset might be your favorite time to send a thought, or perhaps the warming oranges of sunrise. We can all see the sun, the moon, and an array of twinkling stars when we look to the skies. The monthly full moon may be your time to connect with your loved ones, or the first star you see each night, knowing that they, too, are gazing into the night sky and sending love. You could choose a day that you would usually celebrate together, such as a holiday or a solstice. If you once shared Sunday brunches in the garden, you can! each seek out a garden on Sundays. Or you can choose a specific time and account for the time difference in order to connect by heart and mind at exactly the same moment.

With practice, we may learn to recognize the feeling that comes when a loved one sends energy our way, and the feeling of soul-to-soul communication. In this case, distance may indeed make our connections stronger. There is certainly much to make us think of our close friends and loved ones often, but when we decide upon a reminder together, we create a simple ceremony of connection that defies any distance.

DailyOM

Uncover Your True Face

Underneath the Mask

Many of us know the feeling of being stuck in a particular role within our families, as if we are wearing masks whenever we see the people we love. Maybe we are the good daughters, expected to always please others, or perhaps we are the family clowns, expected to be jovial and make everyone laugh. This same scenario can play out within a work situation or a group of friends. We may be so good at our role that we hardly even notice that we are wearing a mask, and yet, deep down, we know that we are not free to simply be who we really are. This can leave us feeling unseen and uneasy.

There is nothing inherently wrong with wearing a mask or playing a role. It is a natural part of any social dynamic and it can even be creative and fun. It only becomes a problem when you feel that you have no other choice than to wear that mask, and this is especially challenging if you realize you are never without one. Perhaps you have forgotten who you really are—a vast and unrestricted being of light—and have identified yourself completely with a role. You may be the dutiful, caring son who keeps his parents’ dysfunctional marriage intact. You may be the angelic wife who enables your husband to continue on a destructive path. You may be the cheerful daughter to a deeply depressed mother. Whatever the case, knowing the motivation behind your performance—the function of your mask—can help to uncover your true face.

Anytime we find ourselves stuck behind a mask, it is an indication that we are entangled in a dysfunctional dynamic in which our true self cannot be seen. We have been placed in this situation for the purpose of our own healing and, in some cases, the healing of others. From this perspective, life can be seen as a series of situations that call us to remove our masks—gently, and with great compassion for all concerned—to reveal the beauty underneath.

Simple Nutrition Tips for Healthy Digestion

If you suffer from occasional indigestion, constipation, gas, irritable bowel syndrome or other digestive complaints, simple lifestyle changes can help. In addition to stress management, regular exercise and prudent supplementation, consider these dietary modifications:

1. Drink plenty of fluids. Drink plenty of water throughout the day to help keep digestive systems running properly. Drinking fluids after, rather than during, a meal may help minimize symptoms of indigestion.
2. Eat a diet rich in fiber. Consume at least 40 grams of soluble and insoluble fiber a day, including whole grains, fruits and vegetables.
3. Keep a food log. It can help you identify the causes or triggers of your digestive issues.
4. Eat small meals. Smaller portions place less demand on the digestive tract and are easier to digest than large meals.

DrWeil.com

How to Handle Panic Attacks

It may seem hard to get a grip on anxiety during a panic attack, but learning the right techniques can help you get your anxiety back under control.

Panic attacks can be terrifying. These attacks stem from profound anxiety that can make your heart pound and your knees go weak. Panic attacks can make it difficult to catch your breath and can also cause chest pain and dizziness — you may even think you're having a heart attack. A panic attack may only last a few minutes, but it can leave you feeling frightened and uneasy.

Understanding Panic Attacks

A panic attack and its symptoms of tremendous anxiety can strike suddenly, out of the blue. While a panic attack itself may be brief, it can lead to a lasting fear of having another episode. When panic attacks and the fear of having attacks occur repeatedly, people are said to have a panic disorder, a type of anxiety disorder.

"People have these panic attacks under various circumstances,” explains Martin N. Seif, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York City and Greenwich, Conn. They constantly worry about having an attack and may avoid certain situations as a result. Eventually, people with panic disorder may realize that they aren't actually afraid of the situation they're avoiding, but rather of experiencing additional panic attacks, notes Seif.

Fortunately, you don’t have to live in fear of panic attacks. There are specific strategies you can use to help manage your anxiety and control your physical symptoms as well.

Panic Attacks: How to Take Control

The best way to stave off future panic attacks is by learning how to control your anxiety so that if you do start to notice symptoms of a panic attack, you can calm your mind and body until the symptoms fade.

"People who experience panic attacks have to learn how to cope with their feelings of panic," says Seif. While medication can be effective, cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the best techniques for managing panic and anxiety. "It involves recognizing that the panic-producing process is fueled by future-oriented, catastrophic thinking," explains Seif. People with panic disorder have to become aware that their thoughts trigger a physical reaction, which results in a panic attack.

To gain control over panic disorder, it's important to learn and practice anxiety management techniques, says Seif. Strategies that you can use to help you curb a panic attack include:

• Breathing slowly and deeply. Anxiety can cause you to breathe very quickly, which makes both the mental and physical symptoms of a panic attack even worse. When you start to feel panicky, be sure to take slow, deep breaths to soothe your mind and body.
• Stop and think. When your thoughts start spinning out of control, simply tell yourself to stop. Organize your thoughts and decide what you need to do to get yourself calm again.
• Think positively. Push negative thoughts out of your mind, and remind yourself that you are in control. Think about times when you've been able to manage situations successfully and reduce anxiety.
• Stand up for yourself. If you need to leave a situation, do so or tell someone you need to leave. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Allowing yourself to become more upset will not help if what you really need is to take a walk and blow off some steam.
• Relax your muscles. Anxiety causes your entire body to tense up, so make a conscious effort to relax each muscle from your toes all the way up to your neck and face.

Don't wait for a panic attack to begin to try these techniques. Seif notes that it's important to use these strategies regularly and learn to manage your anxiety in gradual stages. As you become more confident that you can rein in a panic attack, you can walk out the door each day breathing easier.

By Diana Rodriguez

Medically reviewed by Niya Jones, MD, MPH

What to Do About Insomnia

Learn how to combat restless nights and drowsy days.

For chronic insomnia, the treatment of choice is to change your lifestyle and habits. A careful evaluation can pave the way to better sleep by pinpointing habits that keep you up at night. A sleep specialist trained in behavioral medicine can help people with learned insomnia replace their bad habits with positive ones.

Sleep restriction
People with insomnia often find that spending less time in bed promotes more restful sleep and helps make the bedroom a welcome sight instead of a torture chamber. As you learn to fall asleep quickly and sleep soundly, the time in bed is slowly extended until you obtain a full night's sleep.
 
Some sleep experts suggest starting with five or six hours at first, or whatever amount of time you typically sleep at night. Setting a rigid early morning waking time often works best. If the alarm is set for 7 a.m., a five-hour restriction means that no matter how sleepy you are, you must stay awake until 2 a.m. Once you are sleeping well during the allotted five hours, you can add another 15 or 30 minutes, then repeat the process until you're getting a healthy amount of sleep.

Reconditioning
In the 1970s, a Northwestern University professor developed a technique to recondition people with insomnia to associate the bedroom with sleep. These are the rules:

• Use the bed only for sleeping and sex.
• Go to bed only when you're sleepy. If you're unable to sleep, get up and move to another room. Stay up until you are sleepy, then return to bed. If sleep does not follow quickly, repeat.
• During the reconditioning process, get up at the same time every day and do not nap.

The idea is to train your body to associate your bed with sleep instead of sleeplessness and frustration.

Relaxation techniques
For some people with insomnia, a racing or worried mind is the enemy of sleep. In others, physical tension is to blame. Fortunately, there are ways to release physical tension and relax more effectively. Relaxation techniques that can quiet a racing mind include meditation, breathing exercises, and progressively tensing and relaxing your muscles starting with your feet and working your way up your body — a technique known as progressive muscle relaxation.

In biofeedback, people use equipment that monitors and makes them aware of involuntary body states (such as muscle tension or hand temperature). Immediate feedback helps people see how various thoughts or relaxation maneuvers affect tension, enabling them to learn how to gain voluntary control over the process. Biofeedback is usually done under professional supervision. Other relaxation techniques — such as progressive muscle relaxation or meditation — can be learned in behavior therapy sessions or from books, tapes, or classes.

Everyday Health - Women's Health

The Joyful Flow

Good Vibrations

Feelings vibrate, just as all things in the universe do, at a particular frequency. Negative feelings like anger, guilt, and depression vibrate at low frequencies, while positive feelings like joy, appreciation, and passion vibrate at high frequencies. These high frequency vibrations make us feel good. This is why people and places that inspire and cultivate positive feelings have what we call good vibrations.

Good vibrations inspire health, happiness, and optimism. When we are tuned in to good vibrations, our bodies heal, our hearts open, and our minds shift toward the light. We see new possibilities and feel powerfully energized to follow our inner visions. At the same time, we feel relaxed and capable of manifesting these visions without giving in to stress or struggle. Good vibrations put us in a state of perfect receptivity so that we feel it is the energy flowing through us that accomplishes what needs to be done. We feel guided, supported, protected, and nourished within this joyful flow. We sometimes forget that we are allowed to feel this way all the time.

Lower frequency vibrations are not bad in a moral sense, but they are bad in the sense that they simply don’t feel good. Still, they have a purpose, which is to alert us to the fact that we are blocking out the higher frequency vibrations that we need to function well. They are a call for healing ourselves from within. The key to our healing lies in remembering that it is our birthright to feel good and that feeling good is the essence of our true nature. When we are receiving and sending out good vibrations, we are in the flow. When we are not, we can begin to raise our vibration by seeking out people, places, and situations that vibrate at a higher frequency. Whether we need to go on retreat or just call a friend who makes us laugh, seeking out those good vibrations and basking in them is a sacred and loving practice that returns us, time and again, to the joyful flow of the universe.

DailyOM

Understanding the Loss of Your Pet

The loss of a pet is like the loss of a close family member to many people. For some, the loss of a pet can be felt even more tragically and more acutely than the loss of a person. This can happen because our pets live relatively short lives. For many of us who love our pets, their death can affect some of us even more than the death of a relative or friend. The death of a pet leaves few people totally untouched.

A pet may come to symbolize many things to each of us. It may represent a child, perhaps a child yet to be conceived or the innocent child in us all. It may reflect the ideal mate or parent, ever faithful, patient and welcoming, loving us unconditionally. It is a playmate and a sibling. It is a reflection of ourselves, embodying negative and positive qualities we recognize or lack in ourselves. The same pet may be all of these, alternating between roles on any given day or for each member of the family.

When a pet dies, we expect that our pain will be acknowledged, even if it is not shared, by our relatives, friends and colleagues. Though the bond between you and your pet is as valuable as any of your human relationships, the importance of its loss may not be appreciated by other people. The process of grieving for a pet is no different than mourning the death of a human being. The difference lies in the value that is placed on your pet by your family and by society as a whole.

Your grief may be compounded by lack of response from a friend or family member. Realize that you do not need anyone else's approval to mourn the loss of your pet, nor must you justify your feelings to anyone. Do not fault anyone who cannot appreciate the depth of your grief for a pet. The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone.

Seek validation for your pain from people who will understand you. Speak with your veterinarian, a veterinary technician, groomer or another pet owner. Ask for a referral to pet grief support groups or veterinary bereavement counselors in your area. The death of a pet can revive painful memories and unresolved conflicts from the past that amplify your current emotional upheaval. Seek comfort in the support of professional counselors or clergy.

This is an opportunity for emotional growth. Your life was and will continue to be brighter because of the time that you shared with your pet. This is the best testament to the value of your pet's existence.

By Julie Axelrod

2 Tips for Healthy Bones

Both men and women experience a decrease in bone mass with age. In addition to eating a healthy diet and prudent supplementation, these two lifestyle habits can help preserve and increase bone mass.

1. Get regular exercise. Weight-bearing exercise (walking, jogging or any exercise done on the feet) and strength training (such as weightlifting or working with resistance bands) can help fortify bones and build bone mass.
2. Don't smoke and keep alcohol intake moderate. Moderation will help preserve bone and slow bone loss.

DrWeil.com

Appreciating Suggestions

Other People's Agendas

As children, our parents had dreams for us. They wanted us to do well in school, and to do whatever was necessary to reach our highest potential. Later in life, friends may try to set us up with their idea of the perfect partner or the perfect job. Spouses may have agendas for us, too. People close to us may have ideas about how we should live our lives, ideas that usually come from love and the desire for us to be happy. Other times, they come from a place of need within them—whether it is the parent who wants us to live out his or her dreams or the friend or spouse who wants us to play an already-defined role. Whatever the case, we can appreciate and consider those people’s input, but ultimately we must follow our own inner guidance.

There may come a time when all the suggestions can become overbearing. We may feel that the people we love don’t approve of our judgment, which can hurt our feelings. It can interfere with the choices we make for our lives by making us doubt ourselves, or filling a void with their wishes before we’ve had a chance to decide what we want. It can affect us energetically as well. We may have to deal with feelings of resistance or the need to shut ourselves off from them. But we can take some time to rid ourselves of any unnecessary doubts and go within to become clear on what we desire for ourselves.

We can tell our loved ones how much we appreciate their thoughts and ideas, but that we need to live our own lives and make our own decisions. We can explain that they need to let us learn from our own experiences rather than rob us of wonderful life lessons and the opportunity to fine-tune our own judgment. When they see that we are happy with our lives and the path we are taking to reach our goals, they can rest assured that all we need them to do is to share in our joy.

DailyOM

Dark Chocolate: A Delicious Health Food

Sometimes it seems that keeping healthy involves giving up many of the things you love. Many folks prefer high-fat, high-sugar foods to vegetables, red meat to fish, French fries to brown rice, etc. But, it has become increasingly clear that chocolate, one of the true comfort foods that many people love, is not only good to eat but good for you as well.

Cacao has been cultivated and delighting taste buds for almost 2000 years, but only recently has it been the subject of formal scientific investigation. More than 450 articles have appeared in the medical literature concerning the health effects of chocolate, and the consensus is that chocolate is the new health food! However, before you run out and stock up on chocolate bars from the grocery store, there are a few simple things you need to know.

There are three main types of chocolate; white chocolate, milk chocolate and dark chocolate, and it appears that greater health benefits come from consuming dark chocolate than the other varieties.

Research has centered on two main types of ingredients found in cacao and chocolate: stearic acid and bioflavonoids. Stearic acid is a saturated fat, meaning it is solid at room temperature. Since dietary saturated fats tend to raise both total cholesterol and harmful LDL cholesterol levels in the bloodstream, health authorities such as the American Heart Association and the National Institutes of Health recommend that people limit their consumption of saturated fat to less than 6 – 10 percent of daily calories. Stearic acid is the most common type of fat found in chocolate, yet studies have shown that it is unlike most other types of saturated fat and does not raise either total or LDL cholesterol levels. It also changes the platelets in the blood stream and reduced the risk of blood clots.

Bioflavinoids are dietary antioxidants. Many of the mainstays of a healthy diet such as fresh fruits and vegetables, green tea, and red wine are rich in bioflavonoids. Bioflavonoid intake has been found to lower the risk of having a heart attack or stroke. Dark chocolate contains more bioflavonoids than green tea, apples, onions and red wine. Dark chocolate also has two and half times more bioflavonoid content and much less sugar than either milk chocolate or white chocolate, which is why it is the preferred variety.

Silent inflammation is currently regarded as the common pathway leading to numerous diseases such as heart disease, cancer, arthritis, diabetes, and Alzheimer’s disease. Inflammation in the body is measured with a blood test known as the C reactive protein (CRP) and studies have shown that consumption of dark chocolate significantly lowers CRP levels.

You should buy dark chocolate bars that contain at least 70 percent cocoa content. As an example, the three ounce (90 gram) bars of dark chocolate that I buy at the local health food store are divided into 18 small squares. The bars contain 77 percent cocoa content and I typically eat two small squares about five times a week. These two squares contain 2.67 grams of saturated fat, about 15 percent of the recommended daily allowance (RDA).

Enjoy dark chocolate several times a week for a tasty and healthy addition to your personal longevity program.

Happy anti-aging!

Terry Grossman, M.D.

Shifting into Gratitude

The Question of Worthiness

We all know what it’s like to finally get something we want, only to find ourselves feeling as if we don’t deserve it. Whether it’s a car, a new job, or a date with someone wonderful, we suddenly feel as if we are not up to it. Something in us wants to reject this gift from the universe, perhaps because it requires that we think of ourselves in a new way or makes us question why we should have something that others don’t have. If these feelings of unworthiness are not consciously acknowledged, they can lead us to sabotage ourselves out of the gift being offered. Perhaps the best way to avoid rejection and sabotage is to simply shift into a state of gratitude, bypassing the question of worthiness altogether.

The question of whether we or anyone else deserves something is not really in our jurisdiction. These themes play themselves out in ways we can’t fully comprehend—on the level of the soul, over the course of many lifetimes. What we do know is that the universe has its own way of shifting the balance over the course of time so that all things are ultimately fair. We can trust in this process and understand that when a gift comes our way, it is because we are meant to have it. Otherwise, it would not be available to us. Accepting the gift with gratitude and using it to the best of our ability is true humility.

When we receive a gift and find that feelings of unworthiness crop up, we can simply acknowledge the feelings and then remind ourselves that they are beside the point. We might say to ourselves, "I am meant to have this." As we allow ourselves to accept the gift, we might feel tenderness in our hearts that naturally shifts into a deep feeling of gratitude. As we sit for a moment, consciously holding the gift in our hands or in our hearts, we say "yes" to the universe’s many blessings, and we also say "thank you."

DailyOM

Back Pain Prevention: 5 Harmful Habits

Breaking yourself of certain bad habits can help protect your spine.

We all have bad habits some of the time. But now is a good time to fix the bad habits that can be harmful to your spine and cause back pain. Here are the top 5 bad habits that can be harmful to your spine:

#1 – Twisting when Lifting
So many people make this mistake! We forget to check our body mechanics while lifting, yet too much of this type of movement can be very damaging to your back. When lifting, follow these steps:

• Get close to the object
• Bend your knees and grasp the object firmly
• Lift straight up (don't twist!) in one fluid motion
• Hold the object close to your body
• Move close to where you want to place the object
• Bend your knees when lowering the object

#2 – Bad Posture
How often to you think about your posture? If you're like most people, not often enough. But bad posture — slouched shoulders, head down, knees locked — places an enormous amount of stress on the spine. Good posture keeps your body in balance and helps avoid that stress. Here's what good posture looks like when standing:

• Feet slightly apart
• Knees straight
• Chin slightly tucked in
• Shoulders back

Be sure to check and correct your posture during your everyday activities. Soon you will find that you are actually more comfortable when your spine is in balance!

#3 – Too Little Exercise, Too Much Weight
A sedentary lifestyle has become all too common in our society today. Eventually our spines will pay the price. In fact, research shows that people who do not exercise regularly and are overweight are more likely to suffer from back injures and pain. To keep that from happening to you, get up and get moving! Find a way to put exercise into your daily activities. Not only will it help keep your spine healthy, it will help you to shed those unwanted pounds and feel great, too!

#4 – Ignoring the Pain
None of us like going to the doctor, but persistent back pain should not be ignored. If you suffer from persistent, chronic, or recurring back pain, see your doctor. In most cases there is an easy, non-surgical treatment that can return you to a pain free life. However, if left untreated or allowed to progress, back pain can lead to serious and severe disability.

#5 – Smoking Tobacco
Among the many harmful effects of cigarette smoking on the body, early and more severe degeneration of the back is getting more and more attention. Nicotine — in any form — blocks the transport of oxygen and important nutrients to the spine's discs. Starved of oxygen, the discs are much less able to repair themselves and tend to collapse at a much earlier age than is seen in non-smokers. This painful collapse — degenerative disc disease — can lead to chronic back pain. Moreover, should any surgery be needed, smokers have been found to have much slower healing times and a high rate of failure to heal.

By Eeric Truumees, MD, for Spine Universe

Empathy in Action

An Experiment in Gratitude

Sometimes we forget to take the time to recognize the richness that defines our lives. This may be because many of the messages we encounter as we go about our affairs prompt us to think about what we don’t have rather than all the abundance we do enjoy. Consequently, our gratitude exists in perpetual conflict with our desire for more, whether we crave time, convenience, wealth, or enlightenment. Yet understanding and truly appreciating our blessings can be as simple as walking a mile in another’s shoes for a short period of time. Because many of us lead comparatively insular lives, we may not comprehend the full scope of our prosperity that is relative to our sisters and brothers in humanity.

If you find taking an inventory of your life’s blessings difficult, consider the ease with which you nourish your body and mind, feed your family, move from place to place, and attend to tasks at hand. For a great number of people, activities you may take for granted, such as attaining an education, buying healthy food, commuting to work, or keeping a clean house, represent great challenges. To experience firsthand the complex tests others face as a matter of course in their daily lives, try living without the amenities you most often take for granted. This can be a great experiment to undertake with your entire family or a classroom. Understanding working poverty can be as easy as endeavoring to buy nutritious foods with a budget of $100 for the week. If you own a car, relying on public transportation for even just a day can help you see the true value of the comfort and conveniences others do without. As you explore a life without things you may normally take for granted, ask yourself for how long you could endure.

The compassionate gratitude that floods your heart when you come to fully realize your abundance may awaken pangs of guilt in your heart. Be aware, however, that the purpose of such an experiment is to open your heart further in gratitude and compassion. This awareness can help you attain a deeper level of gratitude that will allow you to savor and, above all, appreciate your life with renewed grace.

DailyOM

Breast Cancer: 7 Nutrition Tips

Diet and nutrition can play a significant role in the chances of developing breast cancer, especially if you have a family history of the disease. The following dietary practices may help to prevent or lessen the risks - I encourage all women to give them a try:

1. Keep your fat content low. Below 25 percent of your daily calories is ideal.
2. Avoid animal fats, polyunsaturated fats (many vegetable oils), and hydrogenated oils (margarines and vegetable shortenings) - all can increase cancer risks.
3. Use healthy fats: monounsaturates such as extra virgin olive oil, freshly ground flaxseed and oily fish such as wild Alaskan salmon and sardines (which are rich in omega-3 fatty acids) may reduce your risk of breast cancer.
4. Include whole soy products in your diet. Soy foods contain many cancer-protective substances, including isoflavones. Try to eat one to two servings of whole soy-based foods a day.
5. Avoid alcohol. Even in modest amounts, alcohol consumption is associated with an increased risk of breast cancer.
6. Minimize your consumption of conventionally raised meat, poultry, eggs, and dairy products. Replace with organic, hormone-free versions and use sparingly.
7. Eat more fruits and vegetables! They contain many different cancer-protective phytonutrients.

DrWeil.com

Seven Ways Your Body Gets Better With Age

Think you've got nothing to look forward to as you get older? Think again! Aging might actually improve your health in a number of unexpected ways.

As the years fly by, it's easy to focus on the less-than-desirable aspects of your aging physique. But did you know that, in some ways, your body actually gets better with age? In fact, doctors and researchers are discovering that the natural aging process has certifiable health benefits, ranging from less sensitive teeth to longer-lasting orgasms. The changes aren't dramatic and they certainly won't turn back the hands of time, but even small physiological improvements can make a big difference when it comes to feeling younger and enjoying life more.

Here are seven real benefits you can look forward to as you grow older.

1. Decreased Tooth Sensitivity
   If you've always had painfully sensitive teeth, they'll become less so as you age. That's because the surface between the enamel and nerves lays down more dentin (the tooth's inner hard tissue) as teeth age, resulting in extra insulation and a diminished pain response. This may make dental procedures less painful, too. "Many older people feel less pain than younger patients — to the point where they may not need anesthesia for simple dental procedures," reports Claire Collins, D.M.D., associate professor of dentistry at the University of Colorado-Denver School of Dental Medicine.

   Healthy Advice To boost the comfort and health of your teeth, be meticulous about regular brushing and flossing. "Plaque from food particles can dissolve the teeth's enamel, which will expose dentin and nerves, increasing sensitivity and pain," says Collins. So stay on top of your daily dental regimen to help prevent decay.

2. Milder Allergies
   Plagued by allergies all your life? They'll be less bothersome as you get older. "After age 50, the body reacts with less vehemence to hay fever and other seasonal allergies, perhaps because older bodies produce less of the allergic antibody IgE," says allergist Michael Welch, M.D., co-director of the Allergy and Asthma Medical Group and Research Center in San Diego and professor of medicine at the University of California-San Diego. Many food allergies diminish, too. However, severe sensitivities to tree nuts and peanuts may not go away. For unknown reasons, these food allergies tend to be life-long, says Welch.

   Healthy Advice You may find that you're able to get by without antihistamines and other allergy medications during allergy season. But talk with your doctor before you stop taking medications — especially if you have asthma because allergies can trigger asthmatic episodes.

3. Fewer Colds and Other Viruses
   You're less likely to get sick with colds and other minor viral infections after midlife. The reason: Each time your body is exposed to a virus, it develops antibodies that make you immune to that virus in the future. This means that more you age, the more likely it is that you'll be immune to many — but not all — cold viruses. There are more than 200 different viruses that cause colds. "But by the time you reach your 60s or 70s with a lifetime of colds behind you, you've developed immunity to many of the circulating cold viruses," says Jack Gwaltney, M.D., an infectious disease specialist at the University of Virginia School of Medicine in Charlottesville. Unfortunately, this increased immunity doesn't apply to the flu virus, as this bug mutates every year.

   Healthy Advice Get a flu shot, and wash up frequently. Hand-washing is a top-notch flu-and-cold preventer. To boost your immunity, get plenty of sleep, eat lots of fruits and veggies, and actively manage your stress, a known immunity-sapper.

4. Low-Maintenance Skin
   Say goodbye to problems with oily skin. After age 50, the skin's oil secretions slow down in both men and women. "The shiny look that many people hate will start to improve," says Audrey Kunin, M.D., a dermatologist in Kansas City and founder of dermadoctor.com. Thinking about going under the knife? Cosmetic surgery scars can be hidden more easily when you're older because mature skin is less likely to spring back and show a separation than young, elastic skin. And you can shave less often and can stop using deodorant. "Due to hormonal changes in the later years, the growth of facial and body hair slows, and sweat glands disappear," Kunin adds.

Healthy Advice Although you'll smell better, less sweating means you're at higher risk of overheating and heat stroke, so be sure to drink plenty of water during hot weather. Dr. Kunin recommends applying a water-based moisturizer after your shower or bath because tap water can strip the skin of oil and moisture.

5. A Fitter Brain
   Some memory functions, such as vocabulary and long-term memory, continually sharpen if you stay mentally active. "Memory can be trained just like muscles," says Gary Small, M.D., author of "The Memory Bible" and director of the University of California-Los Angeles Center on Aging. "If you make the most of your memory and use it regularly, that portion of your brain can actually get better as you get older." In fact, research shows that memory skills can be honed well into old age.

   Healthy Advice To sharpen your memory, do mind-challenging activities. "Try to do a crossword puzzle every day to help build and maintain vocabulary and memory," recommends Small. Learning a new language also can help. Research suggests that certain foods can help age-proof the brain. A 2008 British study found that eating blueberries can enhance memory and learning, and drinking apple juice may improve memory by preventing the decline of an important neurotransmitter, according to a study published in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease.

6. A Youthful Heart
   Surprisingly, the heart hardly ages at all and actually can strengthen — as long as you keep your cholesterol and blood pressure in check. "Although there is some narrowing of arteries with aging, the pumping ability of the heart stays strong throughout life in healthy people," says Nieca Goldberg, M.D., a spokeswoman for the American Heart Association and medical director of New York University's Women's Heart Program. Genes do play a part in the way your heart ages, but the healthier your lifestyle, the more likely your heart will stay strong well into your 80s and 90s. "Exercise, diet, and not smoking are more important than genetics in maintaining the health of the heart after age 60," says Goldberg.

   Healthy Advice Artery wellness is crucial for preventing a heart attack. Get your blood pressure and cholesterol checked annually, eat a low-fat diet, maintain a healthy weight, and exercise regularly to help age-proof your arteries.

7. Heightened Sexuality
   A shift in the hormonal balance beginning in the early 50s can increase a woman's libido and her ability to have orgasms, says Jessica Fields, Ph.D., a research associate at the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality in San Francisco. Many women also report an increase in the frequency and intensity of orgasms as they grow older. In fact, some research suggests that the frequency of orgasms increases for women in each decade, up until the octogenarian years (age 80 – 89). But men have reason to celebrate, too. After age 60, the ligaments that attach the penis to the body begin to relax. Assuming a man stays slim, this makes the flaccid penis look longer with each 60-plus decade.

   Healthy Advice Don't assume that getting older means that sex needs to fall by the wayside. "Many 60-plus people enjoy an active sex life that is often better than what they enjoyed in early adulthood," says Fields. Plus, some research suggests that frequent sex helps boost the immune system. It also may keep you looking young. A Scottish study of 3,500 people found that men and women who made love at least three times a week looked 10 years younger than their less lusty counterparts.

The Bottom Line Another birthday could be reason to rejoice. As long as you practice good health habits and get regular medical checkups, your body can continue to improve in many ways. Like fine wine, you're not getting older, you're getting better!

By Jan Sheehan

Breast Cancer: 6 Warning Signs

Do you know the signs and symptoms that might indicate breast cancer? While personal and family histories of breast cancer and lifestyle habits (including diet, exercise and how you handle stress) can all affect breast-cancer risk, learning to recognize the signs of breast cancer may save your life - early diagnosis is key to treatment and recovery. Performing a monthly self-examination is still recommended by many health professionals, as is having a yearly exam performed by your doctor. In addition, the National Cancer Institute suggests keeping an eye out for the following signs:

1. A lump or thickening in or near the breast or in the underarm area
2. A change in the size or shape of the breast
3. Nipple discharge or tenderness
4. An inverted nipple
5. Ridges or pitting on the breast (resembling an orange peel)
6. A change in the look or feel of the breast, areola or nipple (such as temperature, swelling, redness or a scaly feel)

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, see your doctor for a diagnosis and possible treatment. If you are over 40, talk to your doctor about mammograms.

DrWeil.com

Coping With Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety disorders are often linked to depression. It's important that both conditions are treated simultaneously.

People with anxiety disorders, like social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or phobias, spend most of their lives in an agitated state. After a while, that can take a huge emotional toll, and depression often sets in. But relief from both anxiety and depression can be achieved.

Why Anxiety Leads to Depression
Anxiety disorders are much more than just nervousness and worrying. They can cause terrifying fear about things that other people wouldn't give a second thought to. Many people with anxiety disorders understand that their thoughts are irrational, but they still can't stop them.

"It's a cycle. Because when you get anxious, you tend to have this pervasive thinking about some worry or some problem and you feel bad about it. Then you feel like you've failed, and you move to depression," says Sally R. Connolly, LCSW, a therapist at the Couples Clinic of Louisville in Kentucky.

The two conditions have a complicated relationship:

• The incidence of developing depression in addition to an anxiety disorder is high — a little more than half of all people with major depression also suffer from severe and persistent anxiety, notes Connolly.
• "People who are depressed often feel anxious and worried, so one can trigger the other. Anxiety often comes before depression," she says.
• Some of the research indicates a biological predisposition to both anxiety disorders and depression. A family history of these mental health conditions may also help explain the connection between anxiety disorders and depression.

"Especially with anxiety, more so than depression, there often is some family history, and so therefore we think that there may be some genetic predisposition to this," says Connolly. "Some people are just worriers and pass it down."

Symptoms of Anxiety and Depression
These are warning signs that a person may suffer from both anxiety disorder and depression:

• Constant, irrational fear and worry
• Physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, sweating, and difficulty breathing
• Insomnia
• Constant feelings of sadness or worthlessness
• Disinterest in hobbies and activities
• Feeling tired and cranky
• Panic attacks

Treating Anxiety and Depression
Both anxiety and depression need to be treated, and treatment should be focused on both conditions together.

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is often used to treat anxiety disorder with depression. CBT can teach people to manage their fears, anxieties, and depressive symptoms by figuring out what's really causing them; they also learn how to take control of their emotions.
• Antidepressant medications may also be prescribed to help treat both conditions; they are often used in conjunction with CBT.
• Exercise can also help both anxiety disorders and depression. Exercise releases chemicals in the body that make you feel good, and it can help you relax.

Treatment for anxiety disorders and depression needs to be administered and managed by a psychiatrist, Connolly says. "It's really crucial for people with both [anxiety and depression] to have a good assessment to rule out bipolar disorder," she says. Bipolar disorder, a condition in which emotions can swing from very low to very high levels of mania and depression, is treated much differently than anxiety disorder with depression.

No one has to suffer from anxiety disorder or depression, and certainly not both. People with anxiety disorder should speak with a psychiatrist, therapist, or other health-care professional about their symptoms, and start treatment before depression has a chance to set in.

By Diana Rodriguez

Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH

Setting the Tone

Starting Your Day Well

The choices you make upon waking can have a profound impact on your day. If, still drowsy, you hit the ground running, rushing to prepare yourself to face your worldly obligations, you will likely feel fatigued and overwhelmed for most of your day. A leisurely and relaxing morning, on the other hand, can energize and excite you, as well as give you the courage to meet the challenges waiting for you. By beginning your day in a focused and centered fashion, you make it your own. You set the tone of your expectations and choose the mood you will use to respond to your circumstances. A gentle, reflective, and thoughtful morning will prepare you to create a gentle, conscious, and thoughtful day.

The simplest way to eliminate the rush from your morning routine is to rise earlier. Getting children into routines and getting themselves ready as much as possible will also give you more time. Though this may seem like a hardship at first, you will soon grow to love the extra minutes or hours that afford you an opportunity to really enjoy watching the sun come up or connect with your loved ones before you go in your separate directions. There are many more ways you can constructively use the time you gain. A mere half-hour of introspection in which you examine your goals, thank the universe for the richness in your life, and contemplate the blessings you will receive this day can lift your spirit and help you formulate lasting positive expectations. Likewise, you can solidify your day’s intention through spoken affirmations or the words you record in a journal. Or, if you want little more than to enjoy your day, devote a portion of your personal time to activities that bot! h ground and delight you, such as meditation, yoga, chanting, singing, reading, or listening to music. If you feel, however, that there is little room for change in your start-of-the-day routine, try to make each activity you engage in upon waking a ritual in its own right. The time you spend everyday savoring a soothing cup of tea or washing away tension in a hot shower can serve as a potent reminder of the need to care for yourself no matter what the hour.

Your morning is yours and should reflect not only your practical needs but also the needs of your soul. When you center yourself at the start of your day, you will likely find it easier to remain centered during subsequent work, play, and downtime because the overall sense of serenity you create through your choices will stay with you throughout the day.

DailyOM

Hidden Gems

Experiences We Don't Understand

Sometimes we have an experience that we don’t understand, but if we look deeply, or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself. All the events in our lives lead to other events, and all that we have manifested in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences. We cannot easily tease apart the many threads that have been woven together to create our current reality. Experiences that don’t make sense, as well as any that we regret, are just as responsible for the good things in our lives as the experiences we do understand or label as "good."

This is especially important to remember at times when we feel directionless or unsure of what to do. It is often at times like these that we take a job or move to a place without really knowing if it’s the right thing to do. We may ultimately end up leaving the job or the place, but often during that time we will have met someone who becomes an important friend, or we may have an experience that changes us in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don’t quite make sense, we can remember that there may be some hidden gem of a reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having.

It’s fun to look back on past experiences with an eye to uncovering those gems—the dreadful temporary job in a bland office building that introduced you to the love of your life; the roommate you couldn’t tolerate who gave you a book that changed your life; the time spent living in a city you didn’t like that led you into a deeper relationship with yourself. Remembering these past experiences can restore our faith in the present. Life is full of buried treasures. Chances are, you’re sitting on some right now.

DailyOM

We Are Family

Humanity

When it comes to our families, we sometimes see only our differences. We see the way our parents cling to ideas we don’t believe, or act in ways we try not to act. We see how practical one of our siblings is and wonder how we can be from the same gene pool. Similarly, within the human family we see how different we are from each other, in ways ranging from gender and race to geographical location and religious beliefs. It is almost as if we think we are a different species sometimes. But the truth is, in our personal families as well as the human family, we really are the same.

A single mother of four living in Africa looks up at the same stars and moon that shine down on an elderly Frenchman in Paris. A Tibetan monk living in India, a newborn infant in China, and a young couple saying their marriage vows in Indiana all breathe the same air, by the same process. We have all been hurt and we have all cried. Each one of us knows how it feels to love someone dearly. No matter what our political views are, we all love to laugh. Regardless of how much or how little money we have, our hearts pump blood through our bodies in the same way. With all this in common, it is clear we are each individual members of the same family. We are human.

Acknowledging how close we all are, instead of clinging to what separates us, enables us to feel less alone in the world. Every person we meet, see, hear, or read about, is a member of our family. We are truly not alone. We also begin to see that we are perfectly capable of understanding and relating to people who, on the surface, may seem very different from us. This awareness prevents us from disconnecting from people on the other side of the tracks, and the other side of the world. We begin to understand that we must treat all people for what they are—family.

DailyOM

Divergent Directions

Coping with People You Dislike

As much as most of us wish we could exist in harmony with the people we encounter throughout our lives, there will always be individuals we dislike. Some simply rub us the wrong way while others strike us as deliberately unaware. We may judge others as too mean or abrasive for us to interact with them comfortably. Yet no person should be deemed a villain because their beliefs, opinions, mannerisms, and mode of being are not compatible with your own. You need not embrace the rough traits they have chosen to embody. There may be times in which the best course of action involves distancing yourself from someone you dislike. But circumstances may require that you spend time in the company of individuals who awaken your aversion. In such cases, you can ease your discomfort by showing your foe loving compassion while examining your feelings carefully.

The reasons we dislike some individuals are often complex and, at first, indecipherable. Often, we are automatically averse to people who are different because they compel us to question our values, spirituality, culture, and ideologies, threatening to undermine our self-assurance. Realistically, however, those you dislike have no power to weaken your life’s foundations. In fact, your aversion to specific individuals may actually be your response to your fear that specific qualities you see in them also exist within you. Their presence may force you to face internal issues you would rather not confront. If you meet someone who inspired an intense, largely negative response in you, ask yourself why your reaction is so laden with powerful emotions. Remember that you control your feelings and, if necessary, you can minimize this individual’s impact on your well-being by choosing how you will respond to them.

Though you may not have an immediate breakthrough, your willingness to consider your dislike rationally can help you better understand the root of your feelings. Your aversion to certain individuals may not wane over time, yet the comprehension you gain through reflection can help you interact with them sympathetically, benevolently, and with a greater degree of kindness. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you are incompatible with some people. You may never achieve a shared harmony with those you dislike, but you can nonetheless learn to modulate your reactions to these individuals and, ultimately, to coexist peacefully with them.

DailyOM